Little Miss Magic

Great beginning chapter books for girly girls!

2011-10-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

Lately I have had several people ask me about Maren's reading skills. She loves to read and keep up with what is cool with her peers. So, she'll check out the iCarly and Justin Bieber books, not to mention Fly Guy and Captain Underpants. She'll even come home with Babysitter Club books. And, I'm THRILLED because she can read them all!

Now, the more difficult chapter books she cannot read from start to finish. We co-read them; that is, she'll read a page, and then I'll read a few pages. I have watched her phonics skills grow by leaps and bounds when she is reading the "cool" books. But, when it comes to her Accelerated Reader tests, she has some problems with the longer books. The AR tests often have inferential questions that she will miss, or ask for details that didn't stick with her as important. So, we try to choose books she can do well on for her AR tests. Her higher scores boost her confidence and keep her motivated to read a variety of material. Sometimes, that means she is test on easy, easy books (like 10 page books about Frogs, or Police Officers).

So, what easy chapter books make for good reads for Maren -- ones that she wants to and can read independently, yet retain enough to take AR tests on and pass (fingers crossed)?! Well, to begin, the Mercy Watson series is fantastic. The stories are funny and the details are presented in memorable ways (like Mercy the pig loves buttered toast!). The stories are ones she can tackle all on her own and take the test with confidence. The stories keep her grinning from ear to ear. Kate DiCamillo, the author, has a few other wonderful chapter books that an early chapter book reader can tackle with confidence, like Cowgirl Kate and Cocoa stories. These stories are charming, and like Mercy Watson, don't overwhelm Maren with Details. Bink and Gollie have been great because they push her inferential skills just a bit further than they are because the books often require inferential leaps and an understanding of basic irony.

Of course, Kate DiCamillo isn't the only author of good entry-level, girl-oriented chapter books. Maren has also adored Amelia Bedelia, a little girl who takes everything literally! Again, these books have helped build Maren's inferential skills as she realizes the humor in how Amelia responds to the world! Oh, and Ivy and Bean by Annie Barrows wonderfully engaging best friends who have a fabulous fashion sense! So, if your child isn't enthralled by Frog and Toad, and Mr. Putter and Tabby, or even the Magic Treehouse or Schoolbus, keep looking. There are some great girl reads ready to motivate your girl! Now, Maren is loving Judy Moody and with a little help, she can make it all the way through in a few days! She can tell me all about the book and the big details, but AR tests? Not ready for those yet!

Do you have favorite books for your child? Chapter books, read-alouds, co-readers? Easy readers? Challenging readers? Let's share!

The power of persuasive appeals: lessons from a 10 year master manipulator

2011-10-02T18:34:00.000-07:00

Little Miss Magic has always gotten what she wants. Truth be told, she rarely hears the word "no." Part of that is that she is the middle child and only girl, and the other part is that she is just so darned cute and funny! We hate saying "no," and when we do, she puts on the saddest face you have ever seen...and her tears are so genuine, until a few seconds later when she hears "Yes," and starts to giggle. Then, I realize I have been taken for the 9000th time! Here's the face that breaks my heart!

Lately, she's gotten a bit snotty and has begun rubbing manipulation skills into her brothers face with the standard, "Ha, I got x and you didn't." When we have caught her, we have realized that she is getting obnoxious -- but in such a cute way ;-). Regardless, we have decided to try "no," and "wait," just a little more often, even if it hurts me more than her. She's gotten the hint, and is learning her tears don't always work.

Well, she wants her room painted a pale purpleish blue. We bought paint at Sherwin Williams 40% off sale two weeks ago. Oh, is she getting impatient!!!! But, after asking and sobbing, and realizing that "when we get time," means "your tears don't work," she wised-up and stopped the daily pestering.

This morning, she walked into our room in full Little Miss Magic mode, chipper and cute, funny and affectionate. Oh she was turning it on. Then, she turned and said, "Am I a hero?" Why Maren, do you think you are a hero? She replied, "Yesterday, I caught the dogs by myself." Ah, she is right. The dogs pushed through an open window and while we were frantically looking in the woods behind our home, Maren spotted them down the street. She somehow got ahold of their collars and waited until Jon emerged from the woods and called to him. He went and grabbed the 70 pound jailbreakers :-).So, yes Maren, you ARE a HERO!

Well, we should have known...her follow up was, "I am hero. I saved Cubby and Tiki. Can we a big breakfast?" Simple enough request, it is a Sunday. So sure! "Can I go watch TV?" Again, it this weekend, so no problem. "Can I vacuum my room?" Wow, girl, go right ahead...you are so grown-up!

Then, she finishes us off: lowers the bomb. "Today can we paint my room?" She had us. She gave us a reason to congratulate her, asked us a series of yes questions, the came in for the kill; she used the foot-in-the door persuasion tactic! And, of course, we caved.

Today, her room will be a lovely shade of light purpleish/blue!

31 for 21 begins! AKA Creating equality through friendship.

2011-10-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

Lately life has been in high-speed and I have failed to post much in the past year or two. Truthfully, our daily life with three kids seems to focus very little on our daughter's extra chromosome. As she gets older, it gets so easy just to see her as Maren, a girl who loves iCarly, playing with her two dogs, drinking from the OJ jug (gross!), blasting Katy Perry and Justin Bieber tunes, and obsessing over her wardrobe and matching headbands! She is 10. Oh boy, is she ever a tweener!

But, then there are moments when I stop and get teary-eyed. Those moments when I realize that Maren is such a typical girl because of her friends who see her as a typical girl -- who include her in their gossip and girl-chatter -- who sit with her at lunch and invite her to their parties. These girls don't hang out with Miss Magic because they have been forced to by well-meaning adults, nor because they have been shamed into by teachers or administrators. At their age, they haven't decided to sign-up to be a buddy for her because it would look good on their college applications.

They chill with Maren because they genuinely like her; they enjoy her company. Sure, they know she is different in some ways, but they see the "more alike." Why? These girls are popular girls, truthfully, the kind I never hung out with as a child. I have lots of ideas and it is probably a combination of all of them: the girls come from good homes where there parents have always valued individuality and don't speak ill of others based on superficial differences; they go to churches or community organizations that focus on what being a good person really means; they have been in inclusive settings since they began school and don't see disability as foreign; and when they have questions about difference, they can ask them and get honest and heartfelt answers.

These girls just "get it," and when they are old enough for Camp PALS or Best Buddies, chances are, they will embrace them. They won't see it as resume fodder or a compulsory activity. I believe in my heart of hearts they will join because they know the value of friendship and respect, and understand that it goes both ways in a relationship. Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan D. Williams is quoted as saying, Friendship is something that creates equality and mutuality, not a reward for finding equality or a way of intensifying existing mutuality."

To the kids who develop friendships with children with Down syndrome and other special needs, you are creating equality! And, to the parents who raise children who can see the friendship potential in all children, thank you for making our journey so beautiful.

Now, in honor of DS Awareness month, I'm going to try to blog more regularly as part of the 31 for 21 challenge! I'll talk about the daily life of my Little Miss Magic...and anything else I can think of to honor this wonderful month!

Maren, her boys, and Flex Luthor

2011-07-30T18:12:00.000-07:00

Just a short post...not so much about Maren, but about her new "limo;" she needs to be driven in style, you know ;-).

After driving myself bonkers looking for the perfect vehicle for us, I finally jumped into the Ford Flex, and here is Flex Luthor -- his name just fits him (his bald head, and our wonky family!). And, each kid has enough outlets and ports to run his or her own DS, ipad or ipod....ahh....peace at least!

A few recital pics

2010-06-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

So many things have kept us busy lately. Maren wrapped up 2nd grade in style and turned 9 in May! Archie is done with 1st grade, and Jonah is heading into 6th. How did that happen?

The boys both made the YMCA's All Star baseball teams for their age groups and had a great time, though they both got creamed in the first round of the playoffs :-(.

And, Maren had her 6th Dance Recital! A busy few months we've had around here.

I was not chosen; she is not "special;" and she is certainly no angel!

2010-02-28T18:41:00.000-08:00

Tonight I was leaving Publix (a Southern grocery store) and a the face of a gorgeous young boy grabbed my attention from the cover of a magazine. But, my immediate thought was "ugh!"

Why? Well, two weeks ago I picked up a Birmingham Parent Magazine and inside saw they had a cover model contest. Cool, eh? But, they showed a winner from a few age groups and then a "special needs" category winner. What a blow to my gut? Hey all you people with Special Kids -- they aren't cute enough to win a "real" contest, so let's tokenize them and throw y'all a bone -- a category of your own.

Now, I know some of you can't believe I'm saying this and think it is just great! I'm not buying it. I'm angry that as I fight for inclusion, children with special needs are being excluded everywhere I look. And, here's the rub, if you don't think Miss Magic is cute enough to win a contest, don't pick her! Just like you probably wouldn't pick 2 million other kids whose eyes are big enough, whose lips aren't full enough, whose skin isn't creamy enough, etc. Just don't patronize me but adding a special category for kids "like" her and call it "special needs" when we all know you mean "visible disabilities that may detract from typical expectations of attractiveness." Certainly, a child with autism wouldn't have one that category because you couldn't see his or her disability!

So, back to tonight (breathe Carol, breathe). The little boy who one the special needs category is now the cover model for Birimingham Parent, and across his chest are the printed words, "Chosen to Love A Special Child."

Dear Parents: at some point, I know we have all wrestled with the WHY question. Some of us find our answer in biology, some in God, some in the fates. But, we have to remember there is a world out there forming opinions of our children's rights to participate in this society based on how we frame them. Saying you are "chosen," indicates others are not. It gives them an "out." They can sit back and think "I wasn't chosen, so why should I be bothered by you and your child, who were."

And, while I'm on the language issue, let me let you in on a little secret. My child with T21 is not an "angel," another metaphor I find haunting, creepy and downright unproductive. How can your child be included if people are in the midst of someone divine and holy? A friend of mine talks about "discrimination through deification," in a completely different context. I think it works quite well here, too.

Let's get real:

* My child has additional resources needs; given the proper supports, they can be met.

* My child does not have the natural ability to be a professional dancer; neither do 99.5% of the other kids in her dance studio, so leave her with her peers!

* My child will have a few more melt downs than most; big deal -- put on your big people pants and practice your best parenting/teaching skills.

* My child will have areas of relative strengths and weakness; so will any child.

See her as "special" or an "angel, " or as in need of her own groups (even beauty contests!) -- and she'll always be excluded. It is time to admit that my daughter has delays in comparison with the typical child. YUP. Some biggies too. I'm not ashamed to say she has significant cognitive impairments. I refuse to wrap it in pretty bows or lovely labels to make other people feel better. All children are different. There would be no typical if atypical did not exist. Typical doesn't mean right, good, or better. Goodness know, with my college students, the biggest insult I could hurl at them would be that they are gasp -- average!

Let's pull together and stop defining disability in terms of ability and creating new standards and categories. Let's take each disability for what it is -- an interrelated set of issues that require different accommodations than your typical child.

Different you say...not just "accommodations?" Different accommodations. Children who are "typical" get the "accommodation" of pencil and paper. Children who are nonverbal get the "accommodation" of PECS. Children who are sighted get the "accommodation" of lights; children who have hearing impairments get the "accommodation" of sign language.

We all get accommodations -- we just see them as rights. We don't need new categories for everything; we just need to stop judging everything that is "typical" as "right" and "good."

End of my rant . . . and perhaps tomorrow I will see things differently. For now, though, I feel a bit sad that for as far as people want to say we have come, we still have an awfully long way to go.

Pinky Swear and "real" swears...sigh...

2010-01-27T12:45:00.000-08:00

All of a sudden, telling Maren that we'll do yoga together on Monday night after school, or that we'll make pizza together on Tuesday just isn't good enough. I guess I've broken too many promises to the Princess. So, now, when I tell her we'll do something, she makes me Pinky Swear.

Great and cute, right? YES. Until on Tuesday I can't find the yeast and tell her we'll have to have spaghetti instead.

"DAMN!" comes flying out of her mouth.

Should we Pinky Swear to stop swearing?

The life of an 8 year old going on 18!

And back to Bama we go....Roll TIde...

2009-12-11T06:16:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted this semester because my heart has been torn. I adore living back in a city! Growing up in Miami, Salt Lake, Las Vegas, and Orlando, small towns have never sat well with me, so of course for college and grad school it was Chicago, Miami, and Boston -- then GASP -- Lafayette, IN. I kept telling myself it was only for 5 years and I could make it through that.

So, when we moved to Tuscaloosa for Maren to go to RISE, I kept telling myself, "It's only for 3 years." Then, I found out I really loved UA -- and the Tuscaloosa community is great (see ALL OTHER POSTS, LOL). But, it is still a small college town, and I'm a big city girl.

But, alas, I'm a mom first and foremost, and sometimes it means making choices that are best for my kids. So, back to our old house we go (luckily? it hasn't sold yet!). Jonah is devastated because he has learned more this year than ever, and he's had an amazing time. His teacher is involved, creative, passionate, and he comes home and actually has an answer to the tired question, "What did you do today?"

Archie has tons of friends and birthday parties, and a great trio of teachers, too. He's gotten addicted to Bakugan (UGH!), and is really developing a great little "cool kid" personality he certainly didn't get from HannahMOMtana, LOL.

And, Maren loves, loves, loves her teachers and friends --- has a cute crush on little boy Isaiah, and has picked up on the Littlest Pet Shop toys, and even got to go to the Nutcracker with her class this week. She has really adjusted well. But, after this year, we'd be forced to homeschool Maren -- and take her away from her friends and classmates. If any of you know Maren - that would be devastating! Here, an IQ test is required for services, and that is just one point this mom won't back down on. So, our options are homeschool -- or just move back to Alabama -- where I have a career I love and an already established community. And, Jon can commute -- and I'll just dig in and learn to embrace college town life.

Answer? ROLL TIDE ROLL.

So long, So many changes -- a move, a new school, a flood

2009-09-23T20:30:00.000-07:00

In a 4 month nutshell, Jon got a job in the Altanta area on July 1 and on July 15th, we were moving in to a new home in Cobb County, Ga. And, lucky me -- I commute 3.25 hours each way to work -- but only 2 days a week. And, truthfully, I don't mind it. In the big scheme of things, I'm in the car less than many daily Atlanta area commuters :-). Our master bedroom got some minor flooding in this Atlanta flood -- yeah for renting!

The kids are in a new school and loving it. There are 850 kids, which freaked me out, but it has a great feel, and of course, within the week, as soon as we pulled up, kids and teachers alike were saying "Hi Maren," "What's up Maren," "Hey Maren, want to come play." In fact, Archie and Jonah think it is hysterical that everyone knows Maren, and only their classmates know them! Luckily, they take it in stride and see having Maren as a sister an honor, not a detractor! They like the perks they get from her popularity.

Maren started ballet and tap at a studio close to our house, and she loves her new tap shoes. UGH. I do not...but she's a pretty good Happy Feet kid! Jazz is on hold for now -- we can only do so much :-).

Worst thing about the move...well, now it is not "Can we go to Outback?" me: "no." "How about Chili's?" me: "no."

Now it is, "Can we eat at Bucca Da Beppo?" me: "not tonight."
"Can we got to Dave and Busters?" me: "Of course not, and don't ask about ESPN Zone either Maren."
"How about Blue Moon Pizza?" me: "um, no. we are eating at home."
"I like Tijuana Joe's." me :::::: silence and an eye roll.
"How 'bout Willy's?" me: "Maren, I said no!"
"Okay, I'll go to Fuddruckers." me: "For the last time. I said no. We are eating at home." "Fine...... I'll just go to Chili's." Sigh....

And, then, as she eats the dinner I have prepared -- "Tomorrow I go to the zoo." And, yes, like Finnegans Wake, we begin again!

Real Life Space Cadets...

2009-06-09T18:56:00.000-07:00

When we went to Brig's graduation, we finally made the trip to the Hunstville Space and Rocket Center. It was a great day, and the kids had a blast! The highlight, though, was an unexpected one: Star Trek in IMAX. I'm not a Trekkie (shocker, eh?), but even I loved the movie.

And, there was one hilarious Maren moment. As Kirk and a green alien are gettin' busy, Maren yells out "oooh, they're gettin' sexy!" Great, I guess she really is 8! Sheesh...

A Graduation to Celebrate!

2009-06-01T19:17:00.001-07:00

This weekend, my kids and I took a two-hour drive to see dear friends, friends of 8 years now, friends we've only seen IRL once, but friends who mean as much to us as people we "see" everyday. We are friends connected by an extra chromosome and somehow, that connection is so deep that words simply cannot convey my feelings adequately, other than to say I truly love them.

So, when we received an invite to Brig's HS graduation party, we were going! And, we did. And, here are some pics that just capture the essence of the connection... Brig and my boys, Brig and Maren, Brig's sister and cousin with Maren, and Brig's brothers and cousins with my sons.

There was no awkwardness. No wondering if anyone would be "looked at." No nervousness at all. Just the kind of ease that comes with knowing that we are connected, and nothing matters except BRIG's HUGE celebration! And, what a peek into the future it was for me :-).

Maren's 4th Dance Recital...The Sea and Hey Mickey!~

2009-05-24T19:03:00.001-07:00

Happy 8th Birthday Maren!

2009-05-16T17:06:00.000-07:00

The night before Maren was born, I was admitted to Advocate Lutheran General in Park Ridge, IL. I was begging Jon for 5-Cheese Lasagna from Leona's, and cruelly, he turned me down, using the pathetic "you can't eat in labor" excuse. Hullo? Have you given birth? I need energy to get me through it. Anyway, I had to settle for ice chips and sugar-free hard candy. So, today, when I asked Maren what she wanted for dinner, it was only fitting that she asked for Manacotti -- a girl after her mother's cheese and tomato sauce lovin' heart!

Ah, yes, it is true, my little MareBear turned 8 today, and I really don't know how. She was just my infant who talked to angels in the morning. I'd peak in her room and she'd be speaking in the most beautiful high pitched tones that clearly were intended for a celestial audience.

Then, she was my toddler who began ballet lessons and was scared her first time on stage, yet next week, she will have her 5th recital and she is eagerly anticipating her performances. Just a few short years ago, I wondered if she'd fit in with typically developing peers, and today, I have to wonder why I ever worried to begin with; she has dear friends -- friends who see her weaknesses and her strengths -- friends who invite her to parties and sleepovers, and friends who argue with her when they think she is wrong. Friends.

I sit back and just stare at my 8 year old and can't wait to see what the next 8 years will bring. More dance recitals. More friends. More girl tiffs. More sleepovers. More movies. And, boys....yes, in 8 years I presume Maren will have a boys in her life...cute boys! And, of course, she will have heartaches and heartbreaks.

In the next 8 years, Maren will continue to have amazing friends. Some of her friends now will be friends with her for life. She will make new friends, too. But, she will also seem increasingly behind her friends in some areas, as they develop more quickly than she will. And, some kids who have included Maren will fall away as their interests change. Some kids who previously didn't judge Maren will begin to judge. And, her heart will hurt. My heart will hurt.

And, then, I'll step back and dry my tears, shake it off and remember the tween and teen years are rough on every kid -- regardless of chromosome count. I will remember to focus on the friends who love her, not the peers who judge her. I will force myself to the reality of the world: nobody is universally loved. There are people who dislike President Obama, Stephen Hawking, Oprah Winfrey, Michael J. Fox, and even the Dalai Lama. People who chose to be judgmental will always find flaws. They will find them with Maren; they will find them with Jonah, they will find them with Archie, and God only knows, they don't have to look hard to find them with me.

So, each day will will continue to love and celebrate and enjoy all that is our Little Miss Magic. She will continue to grow and flourish. She will get older, taller, smarter, sassier, even funnier (if that is possible!). She will continue to show the world how beautiful she is -- and those who believe in magic, they will certainly find it in her.

Happy 8th Birthday Baby Girl! Each day with you is the greatest present I have ever gotten.

LIfe's a day at the beach...or the pool...

2009-04-27T18:55:00.000-07:00

This year has been extraordinarily stressful. Jon and I have to find jobs (both professors) in the same city. Timing has not been our friend... So, alas, next year holds yet another year of job searching, and uncertainty, and anxiety, and well, you get the idea.

So, Saturday morning, when we thought we might just explode from stress, we threw the kids in the car with nothing but our swimming bag with suits and pool/beach gear, basic toiletries, and a change of clothes, and decided to head to the beach. It's a 5 hour drive, but when you step on the sugary sand of the Florida Gulf Coast, 5 hours is a small price to pay for Heaven on Earth.

On the way, I checked out hotels on my Blackberry and hoped something would be available. Luckily, tons of locals headed to Talladega (where you couldn't catch me for a million dollars and my own talk show!).

The waves were rough, so we did most of the swimming in the pool, and I didn't even take my camera since it was so last minute. The pics are from my phone. But, we escaped and now, I think we can make it through the next month :-).

Anybody have a few hundred million dollars to give me? If you do, I'll start a new University in Destin -- I'll even name it after you :-).

(The girls at the Hannah Montana Movie last weekend).

A budding friendship...and Hannah MOM-tana

2009-04-16T15:28:00.000-07:00

For the last few months, yes months, Maren has been begging me to invite her friend Teresa over to play. And, to be honest, we've been so busy (and her room so messy!), that I've put it off.

Last night, Maren brought me the phone and told me to call Teresa's mom... NOW!... and I did. And, I had the best adult conversation I've had in months. What a great bonus!

Teresa's mom was thrilled I called, said that Teresa has been talking a lot about Maren lately, too. Funny, they were in Kindy together too, but it is only recently they've become closer. These are the times I wish I could get inside my kid's head -- why these friends? Why now? Do they share interests? Are they sitting by each other at school? Did Teresa just have a cool toy, or did she like one of Maren's share day items and it sparked a new friendship? And, what do they talk about when they hang out at school? Inquiring moms want to know.

But, of course, knowledge and nosiness has a price. This one...I'm taking the girls to see the new Hannah Montana movie on Saturday. Steep price, but I just have to know!

And, I may not get all the answers on Saturday, but I know this, I'll get time with my baby girl and Junior Mints -- you could say, I'll get the Best of Both Worlds. Cheap Shot, I know, but I just had to take it ;-).

Sharing in the lives of two adults with T21

2009-04-15T10:20:00.000-07:00

I can't add anything to this gorgeous couple's photo gallery ; instead, I'll let them speak for the themselves. STUNNING!
http://connywenk.com/darkroom/mt/mt-tb.cgi/54

Susan Boyle, Britain's Got Talent, and Society

2009-04-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

As she prepared to sing, people in the audience rolled their eyes and mocked her. Apparently, kids have bullied her since she was a little girl because of a disability, and sadly, she told the Mirror, she still sees those kids as adults, and still, they shun her. She is not pretty by a media consumer's standards. And, at 48, she's old -- and we all know that old equals ugly times 2, bahhh!

As I started to watch the youtube clip a friend sent me, with the heading "The Next William Hung," I started to cry. I was devastated that anyone would send me something that deliberately targeted another human being for being different. First, I study teasing, and second, I adore my child with T21. Both of those things make a bit more sensitive than I would have been even 10 years ago.

When the woman, Susan, said she had never been kissed; my heart ached. Nobody should ever be deprived of such a joyous experience -- we all deserve love. I looked at Susan and saw a funny, slightly odd (like most of my friends are odd) woman who would be great company -- and I started to feel sad and angry as I watched this woman get set up for ridicule. What kind of society do we live in? Clearly, one that loves to find people we can ostracize to make ourselves feel better, somehow.

Yet, as Susan began to sing, the audience erupted in applause. They were shocked -- her talent was unexpected. See, we expect amazing things to be wrapped in beautiful packages -- even wrapping our female babies in "bows" to present them to world as beautiful and precious objects of attention. Yet, Susan didn't appear in bows and curly ribbon. She was wrapped, like many of us, in well-worn brown paper -- wrinkled from use and worn a bit on the edges. And, yet, when she "opened-up," her glory was revealed!

I wasn't so much surprised by Susan's talent. If I've learned anything on this journey with Miss Magic, it is to put aside my expectations and embrace the experience as it comes. But, I was stunned by the audience!

Apparently, even those hardened by cynicism, contempt, and derision can open up and experience beauty when it is presented. It provides hope for all of and reminds me that this is why inclusion is so important -- people can't see beauty if we don't share it with them. I may want to protect Maren; hold her back from the possibility of being ridiculed, yet, by doing so, I prevent those who are willing to embrace her -- who simply don't know it yet.

To all those who rolled their eyes, and subsequently wiped their tears -- thank you. I do not condemn you for being cynical; you are part and parcel of our society. But, I embrace you for your openness. It gives us hope for a more loving world. To those who were able to open your hearts to Susan and see the magic in her talent, I offer you a standing ovation.

Archie and Moses: AKA "How can my difficult child be so good? "

2009-04-11T21:15:00.000-07:00

So, those who know our family know that Archie is my wild child. He has all all of my bad qualities -- he's stubborn, obnoxious, opinionated, and loud; he would rather lose a privilege than lose an argument. He drives me out of my mind somedays -- I look at Archie and see all that is wrong with me in a mini-form and I get angry that I still carry so many flaws, and that I've passed them on to him.

Then, there are nights like tonight, when I realize that his good qualities far outweigh the bad. He is my child who has never left a child alone on a playground. Since preschool, his teachers have commented on his gentle heart. His best friends at the RISE school were not the other other typically developing children, but the children he connected with on others levels: it never mattered if other children could walk, talk, or even feed themselves. Archie just "connects," in a profound way with other human beings. Even in Kindy, he rarely plays with the same child 2 days in a row. Everyone loves Archie, and he spreads his time around. Very unusual for a child of his age.

Archie shares. His toys are his friends' toys. If he has money at a baseball game, he buys candy for everyone, and if he can't, he shares what little he has. He never eats the last cookie without offering a piece to Jonah and Maren. He certainly didn't get that from me: I dive for the final morsel of any sweet ;-).

And, tonight, I was reminded of this soul like I was last year. The Ten Commandments were on, and the classic film bored Maren and Jonah in moments, just like in 2008, Archie watched the entire thing intently and intensely. He talked about what he remembered from school and church. He wanted me to print The Ten Commandments for him so he could read them when Moses came down from the mountain. He was annoyed, however, by the bad special effects of the burning bush, LOL.

Of course, he donned his costume and helped act out the scenes. He takes his Moses seriously! And, this year, he even played "compare and contrast" Moses versus Indiana Jones' expeditions.

So, though Archie inherited my baggage, he also has blessings of his own -- not thanks to me. And, I wonder ~~ where did this heart and soul in my six year old come from? Was he born with this amazing spirit -- or did growing up with Maren help shape the little person he has become and the little man he is becoming?

I guess what is important is that Maren has Archie and Jonah, and Archie has Maren and Jonah, and Jonah has two awesome younger sibs, and we have three kids to be eternally grateful for -- each so different, so challenging, so wonderful, and finally ---- so sleeping. Ahh, quiet ....

Two educational tools that we are pilot testing

2009-04-07T05:33:00.000-07:00

Obviously, for any child, a parent has a responsibility to make sure the child is being well-educated. For my oldest son, that means letting him explore a wide-range of topics and finding his unique talents. The rote memorization tasks and basic school work comes fairly easy to him, so the challenge is finding things that make him excited about learning.

For my youngest son, it entails a) finding the time to even help him with his schoolwork because I get so busy with the other two -- poor #3! And, b) at this age, letting his imagination take flight with his Indiana Jones Handbook, Lego sets, and the costumes he creates (his newest phase is the James Bond Tuxedo). He is a truly creative kid who loves to be involved and physical. I think he's God's way of reminding me I"m getting old, ;-).

For Maren, the task is not "more difficult," but different. I can have faith that the other two will "learn" at school and at home, I can supplement their education and creativity. For her, however, I know that repetition and extra involvement at home is key to making sure she masters the fundamentals she will need to have to progress as a student.

So, just eight months or so, M was crusin' with her Math Facts. I was delighted and we moved on to other things. WRONG MOVE!~!~ Somehow, poof~!~ Math Facts Vanished! As we worked on addition and carrying numbers, we started focusing on manipulatives and pictures to "see" the numbers. We failed to continue to practice the math facts. And, now, we begin again, and will remember this time to keep the practice up periodically.

We found http://flashmybrain.com and so far, just a couple of days in, Maren likes it. It is NOT a fun or games site like Starfall is for reading (which is truly wonderful, btw). It is simple: flashcards online! There are ready-made math cards, but we made our own smaller sets with only 4 or 5 cards at time. We have found that Maren works best if she reads the numbers with the right answers again and again. If she starts guessing without having them cold, she is likely to remember the wrong answer she gave,,,ack! This allows her to sit and practice her facts while I create time for Archie. Again, it is not exciting, but functional site. It was a 29.95 fee and for me, it was worth it!

But, our happy find is a book on CD called "Story of the World." We have Volume 1 (4 CDs) checked out from our library. Jonah grabbed it because he thought it would be interesting. It's a very basic look at history, but through narratives aimed at children. It is read by Jim Weiss who is an amazing book on CD actor -- we love a lot of his work! Jonah found it boring, but Maren and Archie are enthralled!! And, they are learning history from the beginning -- The Nomads. Imagine that...history before George Washington ;-).

So, why do I recommend this? Well, Maren asked if we were crossing the "Tiger" river when we used the bridge over the Black Warrior in Tuscaloosa. Okay...we aren't in Turkey and no, it isn't the Tigris, but hey, she is learning the rivers of the world and enjoying it! She has asked about growing corn in our backyard (like the nomads who became farmers) and she wants to write on clay instead of paper :-). For a seven year old, I"m delighted!

Archie loves them too. He told me that Indiana Jones was an archaeologist like they talk about on the CD, and has discussed at length several concepts from the readings! Certainly, these are not a substitute for reading with my kids, or teaching them from paper books, but what an awesome and engaging supplement! We listen in the car (Jonah wants to listen to his Ipod instead), and then we can chat about what they are learning. Yeah....history is a topic I would have never "pushed" for Maren as we work on the fundamentals of Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic, so what a joy to find a new subject she loves! We'll keep listening and talking about history and then move to Volume II.

The morning pick-up

2009-04-04T07:47:00.001-07:00

Apparently the girls had an amazing time and they rushed me when I came in to fill me in on the party~! They learned a new dance, pigged out, and decorated craft projects. All in all, a perfect girl party. So, Maren didn't sleep more than 30 mins. at a time, according to the dance center owners. She wanted to get up and brush her teeth again, practice her dance, make a new Easter basket, oh...and drink more Mountain Dew -- and there is the answer to her sleeplessness, bahhhhhhhh......

A Catch-22

2009-04-03T21:06:00.000-07:00

So, I have to be brutally honest. When Maren was born with Trisomy 21, a little part of me was happy about it ~~ selfishly happy.

I've never wanted an empty nest. I like close-knit families and in modern society, I'm terrified that my kids will live thousands of miles away. So, if Maren had T21, I reasoned, I would always have one of my kids at home. Right?

The irony of it all...she's my most independent child. Tonight, she is doing a "Pink Party Lock-In" and her dance studio. Approximately 100 girls from 1st through 8th grade are eating pizza, guzzling soda, gorging on snacks, dancing pop diva routines, and staying up until the wee hours of the morning. You can see the soda behind Maren and her friend Maddy ;-).

I cried when I dropped her off; she couldn't push me out the door fast enough. So, though I am certain we'll always live in the same town and that she will always need additional supports in her life, she's spirited and will not want to live with me forever. I guess that is a good thing, right? I shouldn't complain when I know her independence is a huge asset for her development -- but I'm not ready. I really thought she'd be a "mommy's girl." I wanted her to be dependent, in my own selfish way.

But, then I have to realize that we have been living in a town that embraces Maren and has included her in everything without question. She's been part of friendship circles, dance recitals, and soccer games, even sleepovers. Our community has nourished her and given her a tremendous foundation for learning to be a part of the community. She's never been excluded because of her extra chromosome (in fact -- the one time was in spite of it -- the ringleader could care less Maren has T21 - her sister does as well, bahhh!). So Maren's never had a reason to think there is anything she can't do.

Her friends are completely aware that Maren has T21. They simply haven't cared, to this point. They know that sometimes she is hard to understand, but there is always one child who can figure out every word she is saying. When one kid gets snotty, Maren gets snotty back -- and other kids back her up ;-). When she is treated poorly, it's in the catty way all first grade girls can treat other 1st grade girls.

And, I know that I can leave her because the other mothers or chaperones will keep better watch on her than I ever would! Her college-student dance teacher from last year, Anna, might be told to "buzz off" before the night is through if she tries to play with Maren too much ;-). For that, I will always adore this town and the people we are surrounded by. I know we have a 1 in million community for her. And, even if we move next year (I doubt we will, but certainly in the next few years), I know that she has an amazing start in life.

So, tonight, I walked her into the overnight lock-in, scared of course -- because it is a madhouse -- terrified that she might not see anyone she knows, scared that she may not be able to clearly communicate with a new group, worried that she'll be excluded, and sad that she is growing up.

But, we walked in and her friend Maddy found her right away, and after she dropped her sleeping bag off and walked into the large play room, I heard a chorus of voices calling, "Maren -- Maren's here -- Maren come over here -- Sit by me Maren." And, she pushed me out the door.

So now, to keep my full-nest as I grow old, I might just have to hope Jonah and Archie are "mama's boys." Maybe I need to start telling them "Foosball's for da devil" and that their daddy died of dehydration. It worked for Kathy Bates in Waterboy. Think it will work for me? Hmm... Where is that medulla oblongata?

Maren's first Play

2009-04-02T14:59:00.000-07:00

Maren's class is putting on a fairy tale skit for the end of the year assembly. She told me about the play, and I assumed she'd be in the "chorus." WRONG!

She is princess #3 with several speaking lines to memorize. And, she is practicing diligently already. Several of her lines are so Maren -- like offering mints to an ogre with bad breath ;-).

I'll definitely film it when they perform. First the dancing stage, now watch out Hollywood :-).

Who needs a Blackberry when you have a Maren?

2009-03-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

So, things have been outrageously busy around here. It's always one thing or another...a phone interview, an interview, a job offer, a job rejection -- and the cycle continues in our house. So, we've done a lot of rescheduling.

Monday night I realized that we blew off speech therapy. I rescheduled it to begin on the Monday after Spring Break and forgot to type it into my Blackberry, so it never synced to google calendar where Jon and I try to maintain controlled chaos.

So, I turn to Jon in horror and say, "UGH, we missed speech and didn't even call Betsy." He looked at me and said, "Oh, Maren mentioned it on the way home and I thought she had her days wrong." Looks like she's more reliable than the Blackberry. And, of course on Tuesday when she told Jon she had Ballet (moved from Thursday), he listened :-).

Note to Self: Maren has great day of the week skills! Check that off of any future IEP.

Not a stranger, a HM ___

2009-03-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post about this for awhile, then forget. So, here it goes.

For a long time, I've been worried about Maren and her trusting nature. She's never met a stranger, but if you've ever met me, you'd realize that it may be in a chromosome other than her extra 21st. When I was 5 or 6, my parents spent several frantic minutes searching for me at a state park. Each time they'd ask someone if they had seen a little redheaded girl, they'd inform my parents that I told them I was hungry and they gave me food and I headed on my way.

Finally, they found me in an RV with a nice family who was again feeding me and trying to figure out how to find my family...How I made it through childhood, I'll never know.

Anyway, Maren has that sense of familiarity with the world, and obviously, I'm terrified that in this day and age, she could become a victim of some unscrupulous and horrible person. So, we work a lot on strangers. To no avail. We talk about strangers. We talk about stranger danger. I warn her.

So, we were at Publix and my Little Miss Magic begins a conversation with a cute college-aged boy in the front of the line. They start chatting and before you know it, he adds M&Ms to his order. As he's leaving, he hands them to her, and she beams and gives him a HUGE THANK YOU! Ugh. At least she knows her manners....

After he leaves, I take them away and tell her we cannot take candy from strangers. With a look of disdain and contempt, she stares me down, "He's not a stranger; He's a HUMAN!" And, she stomps her foot.

Alas, he's a human. Too bad we can't all see such sameness in the world.

Too bad I can't rely on the fact that all humans are kind. The world would be so beautiful if the humans could act the way my daughter believes they will :-).

Maren's Field Trip

2009-03-08T12:51:00.000-07:00

This week Maren went with the entire first grade class to Barnes and Noble, and then to the Children's Hands-On Museum. I've made it a point not to chaperon her class field trips thus far because I've wanted her to interact with her peers outside of class, and I know her well enough to know that I were there, she'd probably hang out with me and introduce me to all of her friends and drag me along with them. (***And, I know the teachers and the other moms very, very well and know for a fact they would never, ever let my daughter out of their sight!***)

Last year, they went to Shark Tooth Creek, and she was fine! This year, again nothing to report. YEAH! She had a great time; the mom in charge of her group gave her a huge hug and said "I had a great day Maren," and that's it. I love these moments more than anything. Maren will always have an extra chromosome; it is never, ever going away. But hey, what a great and typical life she can have ~~ field trips, dance lessons, soccer practice, concerts and plays, and someday (not too soon I hope), dates!~~

It's time for Chick-Fil-A mommy?

2009-02-06T15:36:00.000-08:00

Maren just walked in my room and said, "Mommy, it's time for Chick-fil-A?"

"Why Maren," I asked.

"You said we'd have Chick-fil-A for my movies," she responded.

My head whirled for a moment. Ahhh... this morning she asked if we could watch Enchanted and Barbie together tonight. And, I told my fabulous seven-year old I'd love to have night of popcorn and "Chick Flicks."

Now, I feel compelled to go grab some nugget meals with waffle fries. Nothing like a night of Chick Flicks in my world -- which of course now must include the Southern fast food giant!

Chick-flicks-A! Girl Power!

This morning's Mass

2009-02-05T07:49:00.000-08:00

This morning I joined my kids at Mass since they go every Thursday with their class. Father Deasy, an amazing Irish priest, treats Thursday mass with kids as an opportunity to have conversations about the bible, and even for me, it is much more entertaining than the formal Sunday Mass.

So, today he was talking about how lions and lambs will one day live and peace and asked the kids what that meant. After a few other children answered, a beautiful 2nd grader, Hollie, who has a brother with multiple diagnoses, including T21 piped up:

"We are supposed to love one another and accept each other regardless of our differences."

That did it... Water Works on. Hollie, you made my day so much more amazing. Siblings will make the world a better place. Thank you Hollie and Zach, for taking this journey with Jonah, Maren and Archie.

I love you.

Groups of Kids with Disablities out in Public?

2009-01-30T17:46:00.000-08:00

So, I'm wrestling with an issue and this post is more of me talking through that issue than providing any definitive answers.

I'm certainly not in denial that Maren has Trisomy 21. I know it is never going to go away. I know that she will have friends who are typically developing, but that as she grow older, her closest friends will be, and should be, people who share similar interests, passion, values. Heck, I am a social scientist -- we call it homophily.

Yet, I have a horrible feeling in my gut today. The Resource Room teacher at Maren's school, a woman I adore and who really gets IT, took Maren and four other children to a Special Olympics swim meet to cheer teenager with T21 who attends the middle school at Holy Spirit. Permission slips were sent home and Maren really wanted to go. I've known the girl swimming since she was Maren's age. How could I say no? She deserves all the support she can get and I'm thrilled for her! She rocks!

But, I admit I hate the idea of children or adults with disabilities in public together. It makes me shudder when group homes do it; I get angry when ARC does it, and to be honest, I'm thrilled that Special Olympics is moving towards inclusive sports -- maybe now I'll let Maren participate one day ;->.

I believe deeply in inclusion, while acknowledging that we gravitate to people who are similar to us for our closest relationships. Society needs to get out of our stereotypical ways of thinking about disability and forcing segregation. So, from my experience, these group trips, have, I think, the ability to reify the very stereotypes we want so hard to rid the world of -- that demean and degrade individuals with cognitive and intellectual disabilities. I've watched people point, stare, make horrific comments, and even feel pity (UGH!).

Yes, I want Maren to be able to go out with her friends -- just like I did as kid and teen. And, when she's in high school in oh...9 years (ack!), I want them to be able to cruise the theater together. Yet, somehow the "organized" group trips seem so offensive?.!.?

So, I'm going to talk to awesome resource woman -- I don't have the answers-- but I want to share my reservations. Last semester, the kids who use resource services (all with T21) went to a children's theater together. I said nothing then. The feeling is stronger now. So, I'll share my feeling honestly and ask if we can think of ways to make this situation work for everyone. Perhaps each child could bring a friend from class? Maybe a few of us parents can step up and chaperon since the group will be so large?

Perhaps I am a product of the very judgment I'm railing against, but I am uneasy. And right now, perhaps my friends can help me think through this.

With love, Carol being Carol

I found Maren's new theme song.... Little Victories...

2009-01-18T16:18:00.000-08:00

...And I love it not just because of my trendy new infatuation with Matt Nathanson, or even that it was featured on Scrubs, but because it is just right on! My job is to help her develop the self confidence to fail, as well as to succeed -- and maybe, just maybe, the world will catch up with her!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btuNXRtj33Y&feature=related

Lyrics

This time, I'll be sailing
No more bailing boats for me
I'll be out here on the sea
Just my confidence and me

And I'll be awful sometimes
Weakened to my knees
But I'll learn to get by
On the little victories

This time, I'll have no fear
I'll be standing strong and tall
Turn my back towards them all

And I'll be awful sometimes
Weakened to my knees
I'll learn to get by
And I'll learn to get by
On the little victories
And if the world decides to catch up with me
It's a little victory.

And here is the rest of it.

Fear of the Future

2009-01-11T21:49:00.001-08:00

When Maren was first born, it seemed that anyone who wanted to offer well-meaning condolences wrapped in a brown paper package of hope would tell me about the person with T21 that he or she knew from the local grocery mart of discount store. In their own way, those people were trying to allay my fears of Maren's adulthood.

But ironically, her adulthood has never scared me much. I guess I've always had such a dysfunctional extended family that I realized with my genes, there are a whole lot of things worse than an intellectual disability. So -- here I will out myself and my relatives. Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, Alcoholism, Drug Abuse: All are represented in my immediate extended family.

In fact, my closest brush with fame might be my mother's younger brother Albert. Uncle Albert was a brilliant and budding young scholar with a full-paid scholarship to FSU, and yet, by the late 70s, he was dressed up like Uncle Sam (top hat and all!) and riding a motorcycle cross-country and living anyplace he could find a warm bed. A horrific accident with a deer in Steamboat Springs, CO. and a few more drugs later, and he is known as Leslie Cochran who helps "Keeping Austin Wierd." He can be seen strutting downtown Austin in women's lingerie and high-heeled shoes. Yup. Leslie Cochran is my relative. Down syndrome? Not such a big deal compared to the rough life he leads; though perhaps not a fun either ;-).

So, why all this here, today -- now? I guess I realize that T21 has seemed minor to me because of my frame of reference. Maren has learning disabilities. Others have serious mental illnesses. And, still, Archie my dear six year old...

He wants to be Richard Grieco or Chris Cattan. And, yes, I'm serious. Archie styled his hair quite adeptly tonight and said, "I want to be like Richard Grieco. He's so cool." And there you have it.

Why worry about Maren's job when she grows up? Archie admires guys who wear leather pants and spray on sideburns in Night at the Roxbury. And it doesn't stop there. When we drove down Bourbon Street in NOLA, Archie wanted to go see the naked girls. He thinks beer will taste good. He even tells us he has a Little Captain in Him -- thanks to Capt. Morgan commercials. Ugh. He's going to be a stuntman, and he's already practicing! He has a great sense of humor and an amazing wit. And, yet, I know the teenage years will be rocky and I'll be terrified about getting him through high school, let alone college, without incident. He could hang with the best of Bama Frat Boys!

Somehow, when a parent gets a diagnosis, it's easy to dwell on the could have, should have, would have been, if the child was born a 46er. I find it more productive to look at all of the fears and worries I won't have. I will never worry about Maren becoming an addict. I will never fear her making a fatal mistake of drinking and driving. I will never stay up nights pacing the floor when I know she's out at a party. I won't be trying to explain to a judge why my "child" should be given a second chance after defrauding an elderly person, or taking part in a securities fraud case. Identity theft? Never going to perpetrate that crime either! I have never heard of a person with T21 taking his or her own life, let alone the life of another individual. In fact, I've never heard of any major crime committed by an adult with T21 (unless you are offended, as Dave Hinsburg of Chewing the Fat, was), by an unsolicited hug...bahhh!

And, of course, I hope I will never have those concerns with her brothers. In my hear of hearts, I believe Jonah will become a baseball front-office person, or perhaps an Economist. Archie might actually become a stuntman or rock star, but I'm guessing he'd be a great sales rep and corporate C.E.O. Having his amazing heart, he may even become a special education teacher. Wouldn't shock me in the least!

But, I do not have the same sense of certainty as I have with Maren. So, she will become a teacher's aide, a daycare assistant, a Gap Kids Salesperson, a dance teacher, or if she has her way, the driver of the Barbie Car. And, she'll have a good and fulfilling life, even if it isn't a high-paying, upwardly mobile, divorce-causing, stress-inducing, career that most of us lust after for our own typically developing children. Hell, I won't even be able to brag about her Ivy League degree and 100,000 in student loan debt. Maybe I'll get that satisfaction from my boys ;-).

She'll leave the world a better place because of her presence and leave no harm in her wake. And, in the meantime, I have the pleasure of soaking up the joy that is my daughter.

I have to laugh when people have said, "God doesn't give you anything you can't handle." Huh? have they seen Archie?

And, if they are right, apparently God knew how much laughter and love my heart could hold with Maren. The notion that she is a burden makes me giggle uncontrollably! I've seen my family tree :-) and all the apples that have fallen very, very far from it!

We are such loveable losers, eh?

2009-01-09T17:23:00.001-08:00

See, even in humiliating defeat (Alabama Sugar Bowl infamy) my kids managed to brighten my day!

And, then Camellia Grill brightened our weekend with a fun and friendly breakfast!

And of course, there is always Cafe DuMonde, Margaritaville, and the Quarter...such a vibrant town.

Maren's First Sleepover

2008-12-26T11:39:00.000-08:00

Maren and Layne -- the morning after :-).

Well, it's been forever since I've updated this blog ... as always, I'm running in 20 different directions, and the holidays made it 50!

But, a huge event has happened: the first sleepover! Things were happening as usual here on a Friday night -- kids running around the house, fighting over the PlayStation, leaving doors wide-open and peanut butter jars on the counter. But, then, the phone rang.

"Carol, hey this is Michelle. Is Maren allowed to do sleepovers?" Allowed? I thought-- really? I guess I just wasn't sure when she'd be asked. She's in first grade now, and I guess that's when they start for a lot of kids, right? "Sure, she's allowed. She just hasn't had one yet."

"Well, Peyton (older sister) is having Hollie over and Layne is upset and bored. She wants Maren to come over."

So, I threw her pj's, toothbrush, brush, Madeline, and a change of clothes in a bag and 30 minutes later, a Suburban pulled up and Maren was gone....

I waited anxiously by the phone -- wondering if they'd call because she missed us and couldn't sleep; wondering if she'd be a nuisance to the biggger girls, or follow Pierce (the adorable older brother!) around the house. 11 p.m., 12 a.m., 1 a.m. 1:15 a.m. 2:00 a.m. and somewhere thereabouts I feel asleep. The phone call never came.

Maren had a blast and when I went to pick her up to take her and Layne to a Christmas party, she used her best manners and hugged Michelle and Chase and thanked them for letting her sleepover.

Another milestone in the life of a girl...the first sleepover...CHECK!

I don't like your stupid club!

2008-10-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I realized how wonderfully prepared my daughter is for taking on the social world. She jumped in the car and said "Brooke is a mean girl." Yes, Maren is in first grade and Brooke has been a good friend since preschool. But, as children grow, friends change on a dime.

I inquired, "How is Brooke mean?"

Maren responded, "She won't let me be in her club."

As a mom, my heart felt heavy. I hate it when children exclude one another. It breaks my heart for any child, Jonah, Archie, or the little girl sitting alone on the swings. To be honest, though, when Maren said it, I hurt a bit more -- terrified that it signaled things to come.

Before I could respond, Maren said, "I told her she's a mean girl and I don't want to be in her stupid club."

Immediately, my fears dissolved. Miss Magic can take care of herself! In fact, when I was in first grade, heck even now, I don't deal with exclusion as well as she did.

But, here is the kicker... Today Maren brought home a card from Brooke, complete with flowers and trees, rainbows, and pictures of Sponge Bob -- and Maren and Brooke holding hands.

The card said, "To my best friend. Maren is my best friend. Love Brooke."

I don't know if Maren's words struck a chord with Brooke, or if it was just a natural cycle in little girls' friendships, but I do know that Maren is blessed by wonderful friends and great social intuition!

Please Palin, don't stand up for me; you are making us take 20 steps back!

2008-09-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

If you want to understand what disability is like, maybe Palin ought to read Michelle Obama's speech. It's not about being "special;" it's about being part of society.

... My dad was our rock. Although he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in his early thirties, he was our provider, our champion, our hero. As he got sicker, it got harder for him to walk, it took him longer to get dressed in the morning. But if he was in pain, he never let on. He never stopped smiling and laughing - even while struggling to button his shirt, even while using two canes to get himself across the room to give my Mom a kiss. He just woke up a little earlier, and worked a little harder.

... And Barack and I were raised with so many of the same values: that you work hard for what you want in life; that your word is your bond and you do what you say you're going to do; that you treat people with dignity and respect, even if you don't know them, and even if you don't agree with them.

... He talked about "The world as it is" and "The world as it should be." And he said that all too often, we accept the distance between the two, and settle for the world as it is - even when it doesn't reflect our values and aspirations. But he reminded us that we know what our world should look like. We know what fairness and justice and opportunity look like. And he urged us to believe in ourselves - to find the strength within ourselves to strive for the world as it should be. And isn't that the great American story?

... All of us driven by a simple belief that the world as it is just won't do - that we have an obligation to fight for the world as it should be. That is the thread that connects our hearts. That is the thread that runs through my journey and Barack's journey and so many other improbable journeys that have brought us here tonight, where the current of history meets this new tide of hope.

... Because I believe that each of us - no matter what our age or background or walk of life - each of us has something to contribute to the life of this nation.

... And one day, they - and your sons and daughters - will tell their own children about what we did together in this election. They'll tell them how this time, we listened to our hopes, instead of our fears. How this time, we decided to stop doubting and to start dreaming.

Help! Legomania has invaded my house....

2008-07-10T16:43:00.000-07:00

I don't what we were thinking when we took the boys to the Lego Store in Downtown Disney (thumps forehead!). UGH... It started with two small boxes, and $200.00 later and with no end in site, Jonah and Archie have become full-fledged Lego Addicts.

So, I'm off to scour ebay and thrift stores, and bum random pieces from friends who kids no longer use them. It is certainly better than a video game house, I suppose, and these pics make me think that there is really something cool about legos.

Check out this guys' site...incredible!
http://www.brickartist.com/lego-art/green.html

http://www.brickartist.com/lego-art/thumbs/green.jpg
http://www.brickartist.com/gallery_thumbs/white_sox7.jpg

It's not Disney, but we had a blast anyway!

2008-07-08T14:59:00.001-07:00

We needed a vacation. Okay, we wanted a vacation. You see, I have a wandering soul and can't seem to go for more than a few months without a get away. In the past two years, our kids have been to the Grand Canyon and boating on Lake Powell, Skiing in Utah with my sister and her kids, Disney two times, Gatlinburg, Washington, DC, Florida Gulf Coast Beaches a few times, Jonah and Jon hit the World Series in Denver (Go BoSox!), Chicago, St. Louis, and Memphis, not to mention several weekend trips to Atlanta.

And, the wandering bug hit -- but my checkbook was sad. Lo and behold, Universal had a deal for us! Not being one to pass up on a deal or an excuse to escape, we tried the parks just a few miles from my beloved Castle.

Maren was annoyed there were no Princesses, and we had to take her to Downtown Disney just to appease her. And, quite frankly, there just isn't "magic" at Universal the way there is at Disney. But, they had some awesome ride. Maren braved them all -- including Spiderman and Jurassic Park. Archie peed his pants on the Simpson's, LOL, and we have a great story to torment him with for years to come ;-). It was scary, though -- especially the upside down roll and death drop!

My favorite part -- just being away...

The Gender Chromosome is stronger than the Extra 21st!

2008-06-29T11:43:00.000-07:00

On a board I belong to, some mothers were inquiring about a reading program online. Maren has recently begun to use Phonics Pathways and Reading Pathways with great success for blending sounds and reading fluency. Initially, we used Hooked on Phonics, which Maren like a great deal, but finally bored of...Luckily, the Pathways series has picked up were HOP left off.

So, when this new program surfaced, I was afraid of overloading Maren and boring her with too much redundancy, but the reviews on Headsprout from the moms who use it in my group and on other sites online are awesome!

I sign up for the free trial. 2 minutes in Maren says "This is for boys." That thought hadn't occurred to me, but it is a space ship theme in the first lesson (I don't know about the rest). I tried to get her to perserve, and her response was "it's boring."

Oh well, so much for Down syndrome...the girl in Maren is far more powerful than any extra chromosome! Spaceships are for boys. so, Headsprout, if you ever do a pink and lavendar fairy, princess, or ballet theme, email me and we'll give it another shot :-). Until then, Little Miss Magic will have to stick with the other reading programs.

Who needs anything else?

2008-06-26T06:06:00.000-07:00

A general update on the Mills kidlets

2008-06-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

An old student of mine dropped by today as I was busy working on an article that I need to get done. She looked at the pictures of my kids that I proudly display on the walls on my office. Then, she asked me about the kids and I took a much needed break to summarize life for her. Then, I realized, I need to summarize for myself too...so I can watch their growth. So, my summary for your reading annoyance ;-).

Jonah is enjoying baseball camp and is growing into a delightful young man. He is still addicted to the Red Sox and will read any book about baseball set in his path. He has encyclopedic knowledge of baseball that amazed one of my uber-sport-fanatic master's student, Curt, and a doctoral student at our NCA Doc Honors Seminar had to email and tell me how much he loved chatting with Jonah about sports. He couldn't get over how serious Jonah is about his Fantasy Baseball team -- and yes, he's not quite 10 yet. So, ask me how Jonah is and I can answer easily: Don't ask me how, ask me WHAT and the answer is....Baseball! And, it's been a great back door to history studies, too. Just ask my Jonut about Satchel Paige, Jackie Robinson, Babe Ruth, or Ted Williams -- and wow, my introvert turns into a chatterbox.

Archie -- oh my Archie. My little Indiana Jones who professes to be a stunt man in training is still without a broken bone. How, I don't know! USA has been running the Indiana Jones movies and Archie is glued to the set. He made the most awesome costume from a barn jacket, his dad's suede hat from Canada, and a gameboy pouch. He recites a lot of the lines, and wants to go in search of treasure! Of course, I try to tell him that he is my treasure...my awesome and super fun baby boy. Who, by the way, still loves being my baby. In fact, he still swears that if I tried to have another baby he'd cook it and eat it! Archie's identity is in being the family baby and we certainly don't want to find out if he'd follow through on his threat or not, so I think he will stay the Mills Baby forever.

And Maren, well, she's done with Vacation Bible School and busy playing with friends, taking swimming lessons, and playing with her new doggie, Cubby Bear (Archie's favorite team and Jon's favorite bar, LOL). She will probably go to dance camp, if we can find the time, and will be getting her palate expander as soon as her 6 year molars come in (and yes, the divine Miss M is 7). Actually, after her ortho appt. Maren has decided she wants to be a doctor so she can get all the latex gloves and cool mouth mirrors she can. Hey, her reasoning may be flawed, but this goal is certainly better than wanting to "drive the Barbie Car." Darn that Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! Maren is in tutoring 3 days a week and we are watching her thrive using Phonics Pathways and Reading Pathways. She really loves school and learning, much like her mother always has...hence the Ph.D. (my way of staying in school forever and ever!)

And, my furbabies...Tiki the gorgeous chow from Rio Chows who defies every single stereotype about chow chows. Like most well-bred and well-socialized chows, Tiki is a lover boy. He is gentle and sweet, low key, and very handsome. However, unlike breed standard, Tiki is not aloof and stand-offish. In fact, he loves playing in the backyard and can play a mean game of fetch and even performs tricks like rollover. So, we decided it was time for Tiki to get a best furfriend. After days of searching shelters and rescues, a mutt of unknown decent, "Baby Bear," caught my eye. Baby Bear had a great smile in his pic, and he was being held in a foster home, where he had been housebroken .... score! We went to meet him and he and Tiki hit it off, and Jonah fell in love.

Well, naming Baby Bear (approximately 9 months old already) was hard! Jonah wanted to call him Pesky (Fenway fans will get it!). Jon wanted Manny (as in Ramirez) or Papi (as in Big). Maren liked Baby Bear, and I thought Mango or Bongo would go well with Tiki to keep the Island theme going. Well, somehow, Wrigley made it into the mix and then Cubby, and soon it was clear -- a "baby bear" is a "cub" and that is how Baby Bear became Cubby Bear.

Okay, so too much information for a casual reader, but wow, it felt good to document it all. Catharsis and self-indulgence all rolled into one: blogging.

Can you tell who has T21 here?

2008-06-19T16:38:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be great if we could just see people's aura rather than their labels?

God's Big Backyard!

2008-06-16T17:22:00.000-07:00

Last week was Vacation Bible School at Holy Spirit (Maren's home school). So, without reservation I signed her, and her brother Archie, up for the week. Jonah, who is 9, was way too cool for VBS this year. Baseball camp is more Jonah's speed :-).

To be honest, I dropped the kids off and didn't think much about anything since it is in a place we know well -- the kids' classrooms and lunch room. The first day, a teenager who attends Holy Spirit came up to me and told me how much fun she had with Maren. She joked "she sure loves the dance," and knowing Maren, I believed her and didn't push for details. Maren is generally happy to put on a show.

The next day, I hung back and watched as the day began with the dance for the week. Well -- as they were doing the appropriate moves, Maren nudged her friend and started smacking her rear, hip hop style. Of course, all of her friends cracked up and I gave her "the look" when her eyes hit mine. She gave me me the "Oh mom" look right back and straightened up. Sheesh...is that what the teen was talking about? I was too embarrassed to ask. That's Maren, and luckily God's Big Backyard has some room for booty smackin' Maren style. And, had Archie not been in another classroom, I'm sure they would have broken out into a full MTV routine. Ahh, sometimes, sibling separation is good, at least for the parent!

The Lazy? Days of Summer

2008-05-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

I finished teaching my May Term class today and of course, ended up with a cold. Oh well. So, I tried to sleep a bit of it off, then got up and prepared for a nice, lazy day enjoying my kids. But, of course, before I could enjoy the day, the was laundry to do, and floors to sweep, lunch to make, and pictures to dust. And, now it is dinner time, and Jonah has a baseball game.

What happened to the lazy days of summer? They will start tomorrow. I will ignore my slightly messy home, and the pile of papers that need to be filed. I will ignore the dust bunnies under my couch, and the spider webs in the garage. I will ignore the bathtubs that need to be scrubbed, and the grout that needs to be bleached.

But, I won't ignore the kids! We will go biking, or take a trip to the Vulcan Statue. We will make snowcones or play on the slip-n-slide. We will take a picnic to the park, or make paper airplanes. But, tomorrow, my house and work can take a break.

I will have fun. They will have fun. The housework can wait!

Madeline and the Petting Farm

2008-05-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

So, after months of talking about her birthday, Maren's party finally arrived. We were so busy having fun, I forgot to take a lot of pictures. Oh well...the fun was more than worth it!

The highlight of the day was when the woman who runs the farm mispronounced Maren's name, and Layne immediate piped in it M-A-R-E-N, Maren! I cracked up! And, now, we have even more playdates dates for this summer. I'm going to have to make some of them here or I will never see my daughter!

Worse than shots....

2008-05-23T09:41:00.001-07:00

Ever since Jonah was born 9 1/2 years ago, my husband Jon and I have had a deal. Deal is -- I don't do immunizations or blood draws with the kids. Seriously. If it involves blood, Jon takes the kids to the appointments, and so it has been for each child.

Well, what Jon doesn't know, is he saved me from a pain worse than shots today. I woke-up with a migraine that had me very, very ill (thank goodness for meds!). But, this afternoon, I'm feeling better. Regardless, I just couldn't go to Holy Spirit today. Why?

Well, today is Maren's last day in Kindergarten and I'm just heartbroken. I thought the first day of Kindy was sad, but my heart is aching. Maren is leaving Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Mitchell and moving up to first grade. Ouch...that hurt just to write. It's worse than the kids getting shots--it's the pain that no what I do, my babies will continue to grow despite me, LOL.

So, like with the shots, I'm not going, and somehow, in not being there, it hurts just a little bit less. Of course, tonight or tomorrow or the next day, I'll have to rip that darned band-aid off.

Dance recital fun!~

2008-05-18T18:50:00.000-07:00

And, the pic is of Maren and her friend Audrey.

7 years ago today

2008-05-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

On May 16, 2001, the doctors tentatively put Maren in my arms. They weren't sure how we would react to their news, that Maren appeared to have indications of Trisomy 21. For those of you who know our story, it wasn't a big deal. And, today, seven years later, we realize how "not a big deal" it really is for our family and in Maren's life.

Maren is finishing up Kindy as decidedly one of the most popular girls in her class. She isn't loved because of her extra chromosome. She isn't blessed with wonderful friends in spite of her extra chromosome. Brady doesn't want to hang out with Maren to make himself feel better about doing charity work. And, Drew certainly doesn't think about Maren's extra genetic material when they sit next to each other at lunch and giggle. Layne wasn't concerned about Maren's cells as they laughed non-stop through Horton Hears a Who last weekend at the theater, and Gracie could care less about Down syndrome when she begs her mom to spend the night at our house. Tatum wasn't wondering about T21 as she whispered in a rather concerned voice that she hadn't picked out a great present for Maren yet.

As I walked Maren into school today, the kids started spontaneously RSVPing to Maren's birthday party next weekend, and they were so excited. You see, Maren just radiates Maren-ness. Extra chromosome or not, Maren just has that special something, the X-factor, charisma, whatever you want to call it. She didn't get it from Jon, and she certainly didn't get it from me! Maren just has this quality --- it is amazing.

And, rewind seven years, I wish I could have told those doctors this: " I am not fearful of Down syndrome. In 7 years, Maren will graduate from Kindergarten as a full-participant in her class. She will be having her 4th dance recital. She will have good friends who truly love her. And, most importantly, she will love herself and her life."

Maybe then, I could have made them feel better about what they were trying to "warn" me about.

Maren (not a great photo of her, LOL), with her friends Layne and Tatum

I flicked her back...

2008-05-07T19:46:00.000-07:00

Maren has a wonderful group of friends at school and dance, and, like all girls, some she doesn't quite click with some days.

One of the first families we met when we moved to Tuscaloosa has four children. The oldest has T21 like Maren and is on the cheerleading squad at Holy Spirit Middle School. You can see Hayley's story in our local paper http://www.tuscaloosanews.com/article/20080330/NEWS/803300303. The third child, Max, and my oldest Jonah, were fast friends in Kindy. Max has a heart of gold and is one of the best kids you will ever meet, smart, funny, caring, and the list goes on.

The youngest Bassett child is Brooke. She's a hoot and a half: athletic, smart and stunningly beautiful. She and Maren were friends at Rise in the 2, 3, and 4 year old rooms, and Brooke left for the Holy Spirit Preschool a year early. But, this year they were reunited in Kindy.

So, of course, I assumed that Maren and Brooke would continue to be good friends. And, they are. Better than I realized, I think. Today, Maren came home and told me Brooke "flicked" her "like this" and Maren flicked her own head to show me what Brooke had done. I instantly asked, "Maren, what did you do?"

"I flicked her back and told her she was a mean girl." Bwahhhhh, my princess doesn't take it from Archie, and she certainly won't take it from Brooke. But, more importantly, Brooke clearly doesn't treat Maren as "special" or "different" anymore than she treats Hayley as different. Brooke treats Maren like a sister, and Maren responds in kind.

Life is good...in a weird way, eh?

Gatlintucky -- just not my thing!

2008-03-26T21:40:00.000-07:00

So, for Spring Break, we decided to do a cheap and quick getaway. Being relatively new to the South, Gatlinburg seemed like a great idea.

Great if you like feeling like you are living in a Cracker Barrel populated by NASCAR fans. I know that many people LOVE the area, but the Yank in me was simply not impressed: airbrush t-shirts and license plates on every corner, stores stocked with nothing but wood carved bears and rocking chairs -- oh, and the Ripley branding. Yikes.

There were two good things: 1) The Aquarium. The kids had an amazing time!

2) Being away -- anywhere but home :-)

Sometimes, just a short escape makes the rest of life much more palatable. I loved spending time with Jon and the kids and knowing that our family made time just to be together! We stayed at a timeshare that had an indoor waterpark, and the kids had an amazing, amazing time. Maren was scared for about the first 1/1000 of a second, and off she went. Then, of course, she whined in unison with the boys when it was time to leave.

And, now we are home and the kids are back to school and work has lured me back. But, alas, I have a much better attitude and an very "interesting" experience under my belt. Now, I know Gatlinburg is a place that just isn't "me" and I won't crave Cracker Barrel for many, many years to come ;-)

Crimson is Hope -- on the UA homepage

2008-03-04T11:59:00.001-08:00

My first experience

2008-02-20T05:37:00.000-08:00

with someone with T21.

You know, I wish that I could write about a profound experience with someone with T21 that I met when I was young. But, the truth is, I never saw children with intellectual disabilities at my school or in my neighborhood. My first real exposure to Down syndrome was Corky on Life Goes On, and I watched that show with great adoration of him. I never really considered him different from the rest of his family. In fact, in some ways, he seemed to be the most functional!

After I had Maren, my online friends Jan, Jeff, and Nash and Nicole, Joe, Darrah, and Tarenne, met my family at the Indianapolis Buddy Walk. I was so excited to meet their families in person. And, Buddy Walk was an amazing and positive experience for me. Maren was just a few months old.

Near the end, Chris Burke was signing autographs. I stood in line with Maren and as our turn neared, I started to sob. I guess he was used to that reaction, because he smiled and just said a few things that made me feel better, that I no longer remember. I felt awe-struck, and remember thinking "he really has Down syndrome. He really does have Down syndrome." Somehow, despite all logic, I expected to meet an actor without an extra chromosome. Ridiculous, I know. But there he was, extra 21st and all...signing autographs and opening up a world of possibilities for actors just like himself.

So, though he isn't the first person with T21 that I actually met (that is another amazing tale to share that happened when I was preggo with Maren), he was the first person that I actually "knew of" and he prepared my heart and life in amazing ways.

2008-01-17T22:10:00.000-08:00

Skiing, Snowboarding, Snow ... Christmas had it all!

2008-01-17T22:07:00.001-08:00

When "normal" is "special"

2007-08-09T17:38:00.001-07:00

About 6 1/2 years ago, I was in a hospital bed in Park Ridge, Illinois holding onto to Maren and drinking in her every baby smell and nuzzling my cheek against the fuzz on her little head. I held her and loved her, and tried to imagine what Down syndrome really meant in our lives.

I had visions of Life Goes On, and smiles came to my face. I remembered Corky working at the movie theater, and wondered if Maren would find a job like that. I remembered how hard it was for him when he couldn't drive like his girlfriend, who also had T21, and wondered what would be in her future.

I thought about Special Olympics, and I thought about Special Education. Those were good and happy things in my mind. And, still, they are. But, what I was lacking was a vision of the "non-special" things that Maren would do, as well. I lacked the concepts of everyday life with my Little Miss Magic that would make her life, our lives, more "normal," than different or "special."

Certainly, I never thought that at 6 years old, she'd be on ballet recital number three, or that she'd have a wardrobe and personal style that I would love to have, or that she'd fight with her friends over who got to be "Gabriella and who had to be Sharpay" in High School Musical re-enactments. I never thought that she'd like Pink and Barbie (goodness knows I detest both and swore that I'd never allow either in my house, LOL), and I never imagined that on her first day of kindergarten, she'd be embarrassed to hug me goodbye.

Yes, it's true, Maren has already decided hugging Mom and Dad isn't cool. She won't even blow kisses on school grounds. But, Coach Mike and Mrs. Whitley, and Sister Elaine --- now they get HUGE hugs -- apparently, it's cool to hug them; parents: not so much. UGH. How is that for typical? Jon, my husband, thought surely Maren would kiss him goodbye today. Heck, she even dropped his hand when they approached the door. She wants to be the big girl on campus. And, two days into Kindy, it certainly looks like she is to us.

So, now, I think back on those hours I held Maren and thought of the few "Special" things that I knew about, and realize that nothing is as a special as the normalcy of every day life with my Little Miss Magic. I really wish I would have known then what I know now, that life is life - with or without an extra chromosome. Certainly, there are some differences, but it is all in our focus. I will focus on the beauty and charm. And, here she is, with her handsome brother Jonah who began the third grade!

Surfer girl, ballerina, beautician, biker and birthday girl!

2007-06-12T21:07:00.000-07:00

Wow! I really thought I'd keep up on my blog once school let out, and answer my dear friends' emails (that I've put on hold waiting for real quiet time, LOL), but when free time came -- it became family time. After a year of major trials and tribulations, I finally feel free and happy. And, Jon and I have made time over the last two months just to love our kids and one another. So nice! And, during our retreat from the world, Maren has continued to grow.

She was a beautiful birthday girl, celebrating her sixth birthday in style with a Barbie (yuck!) celebration at home and a High School Musical party with her friends. She got her first real bike (a purple Trek Surfer Girl!) and is riding it so well we are going to try to ditch the training wheels this summer! She painted her own nails for the first time. Okay, truth be told, she painted her fingers, including the nails :-). She lapped up the sun on the beach and loved fighting the waves in SanDestin, Florida.

And, most importantly, Little Miss Magic had her THIRD dance recital. She was a Little Mermaid and danced to Part of Your World. Well, year 1, she did a few twirls and kisses at the end of the routine. Last year, she improved quite a bit, dancing much of the routine and getting a huge round of applause -- even bigger than the first year. Well, this year I had high, high hopes. In fact, as the soloist from the Company performed, rather than have a pit in my stomache that Maren would never be a soloist, I actually wondered what song her solo will be set to when she's a teen! I saw her dancing and beaming, adoring the dance!

Then, several pre-k groups came out and several girls cried. As Part of Your world started, dancers came on the stage one by one. I was giddy with anticipation, and then I saw Marla -- a teacher -- carrying Maren out. She was in tears and holding on for dear life. My heart dropped. I felt so bad that she was so scared.

Then, out came Maren, bouncing with full joy! The crying girl was a friend -- not my Maren. Maren got into position with a big smile, and then, turned to talk to her friend to check on her. Then, without looking for cues, she picked right back up and danced. After a plie and a fairy turn, she comforted her friend, and then sashayed into her circle. She did her perfect Mermaid pose, checked on her friend, did the routine and hit her final pose. She bowed, blew kisses, and brought down the house.

After three years of dance, Maren has learned how to dance, how to memorize a routine, and how to work a crowd. But, more importantly, she has taught me to appreciate those events -- and not to expect them, like so many mothers. In fact, one mom, whose daughter cried during dress rehearsal, kept her daughter off stage altogether rather than risk being "embarrassed" by her daughter during the recital. So pathetic...she'll never get it! Maren's success is all the more sweet because of the effort it took to get there. She couldn't embarrass me if she fell to the stage and bawled. I love Maren not for what she does, but the heart with which she does it.

So, at six, she's riding a bike, starting her 4th year of dance, swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, sneaking kisses from Troy Bolton on television, playing soccer decked in pink from head to toe, preparing for kindergarten at a Catholic School (she loves wearing her brother's shirts around the house). She plays Barbie and High School Musical with her friends (and argues quite skillfully if they won't let her be Gabriella). She is making real friends -- reciprocal friends -- who love and appreciate Maren as much as she loves and assists them. Who could ask for more? And, certainly this is a life worth living!

Reorganzing my mental files

2007-04-30T23:48:00.000-07:00

Whenever I teach about cognitive schema theory in my undergraduate courses, I use the metaphor of a filing cabinet and tell students that schema are our filing cabinets and prototypes, stereotypes, and constructs are our file folders that help us organize our information. As detrimental as stereotypes might seem, they are often simply "necessary" to organize information -- stereotypes allow us to predict the actions, thoughts, skills, etc. of another based on their "group."

We need to know professors will come to class and teach, that firefighters will rescue us from burning buildings and that friends will provide us with support when we are down. Yet, stereotypes and their related schema are dangerous when we fail to question those categories when they take on a valence, either positive or negative.

So, what does that have to do with disability, particularly Trisomy 21? Ah, good question and though it is 2 am and I'm exhausted, I'll attempt to make a coherent connection. :-). We tend to think of stereotypes as "bad" yet the cognitive process, is by itself, "normal" and needed to make sense of our world. Yet, sometimes, we need to think about how "good" stereotypes can be just as harmful as "bad" ones.

Here is where I get controversial -- be prepared. What are angels? Well, for one, they are dead people -- or created without physical form to begin with. And, second, they are somehow closer to God than mere mortals, in Chrisitian beliefs. So, with all the talk that individuals of children with T21 and other disabilities, particularly cognitive, do about having their children included as part of everyday society, as part of everyday life, as part of "normal" with difficulties, it seems to me to be counterproductive to "deify" the very children we want to be seen as "fully included."

Deities are important, but angels are still not part of everyday life, in public schools, on soccer fields, and in dance recitals. Angels are "above" mortals, perhaps watching over us. Perhaps protecting us. Perhaps showing us grace. But, they are not a visible part of everday life.

I'm afraid that as advocates and parents of children with disabilities, we need to be careful of our attempts at image making for our children. If we truly practice unconditional love and want full inclusion, why do we fear saying, "my child learns more slowly than yours," "my child is not very athletic," "my child has a cognitive disability" without feeling the need to wrap it in a "blessing" or deification.

If we really want equality for all people with disabilities, I think we need to embrace all that is different as okay. It is okay that my child will never get a Ph.D. It is okay that my child will never be a graceful ballerina. It is okay that my child may never speak clearly or perhaps walk -- even talk. Why? Because he or she is a "gift" or a "blessing?" A "message from God" -- or an Angel?

No, it's okay because each and every person is inherently valuable -- brilliant or delayed, athletic or immobile, attractive or homely, loquacious or silent. At this late hour, I can't help but think of the student who turns in a paper with the preface, "I know it's not my best, but please consider my effort. I worked hard," as if I can grade effort -- and should. The student "wraps" the paper before I ever read it, and after that presentation, I can't help it, I look at the paper differently. And, sadly, I generally look for the faults the student has acknowledged.

I say it's time to say, typical is just that -- "typical." It is not better or worse. Let's stop trying to wrap disability as a blessing in disguise, a divine gift, an angel in action, or even, a secret we know that others don't. Now, in our hearts, we might be thinking, "of course we know we struck it rich," but that language -- those thoughts that we convey to others, might simply set us, and more importantly, our children apart from others rather than work for inclusion.

It's easier to include a child with significant learning disabilities in a kindergarten class than it is to teach an angelic being whose purpose is to show others grace and teach tolerance and acceptance. Heck, if someone is already an angel, why waste our efforts on worldy pursuits anyway?? Like any human being, all children with T21 are different -- images that convey a unified appeal or message decreases the individuality and increases the ability to separate and stereotype further.

And, though I certainly don't want to "go there" right now, angel imagery and "so loving" imagery makes it easy for some potential parents to "give an angel his wings," "not punish such a loving soul," and even "return a gift." It's much harder to say, "I don't like children with IQ's below 75, or I can't handle a child who won't talk until he is 2 or 3, even later." One focuses on the stereotypes, the other forces people to take responsibility for individual interpretations and expecations.

And, while, I'm on my reorganizing -- declutting of files, rearrangement of mental paperwork, and dusting of the cognitive cobwebs, I also think of the fact that we, even as parents of children with disabilities, are so eager to use words like "high functioning," and "low functioning" even as we say those words are offensive, point to our own need to categorize. Though dealing with indivdual papers may seem more cluttered than neatly labeled file folders, perhaps we need to "deorganize" and make things messier!

Rather than saying "I hate the term, but other's see child X as high functioning," why not just say, "Child X has strengths in verbal and fine motor skills?" All high functioning really means is "more normal appearing" to others. UGH. Those generalizations are useless. Certainly they are neat and tidy, but oh what they miss............ And, they serve only to divide the already marginalized.

Parents who have children who walk after a particular time, or who stay nonverbal, or use assistive technology, must deal with the further isolation of having a child who is "low functioning;" read: not as good as a "high functioning" child. Yet, in all reality, all children with disabilities are seen as "different in the same" way from the abled others. And, conversely, parents who have children who excel in some areas might hide achievement for fear of alienating those whose children do have greater weaknesses. Ah,,,,,it never ends. But, we can make steps by talking in specific ways, in specific domains, rather than in global terms.

I'll come back and edit for grammar, spelling, and offensiveness when I'm more awake :-).

May you choose to disagree -- to find my post outrageous --- that is okay. As we work to end disabilism from outside, I think we need to look internally to see what it is that we do to contribute to the ongoing bias. And, if you come to a different conclusion, GREAT -- let's start a real dialogue!

Will the real princess please stand up?

2007-04-12T11:39:00.000-07:00

Ah, Maren met her favorite princess. But, before she could get to Snow White, we had to see Belle and Cinderella. Though they both finally got a smile from her, she quite bluntly told each of them, "Not you. I love Snow White." When Belle asked her, "Don't you like my movie?" Maren said, "No, I like Snow White and the Dwarfs." Well, there you have it -- a girl not afraid to stand up for herself -- or perhaps a princess in preparation for Mean Girls II, LOL.

Grand Family Fun

2007-03-16T23:58:00.000-07:00

Hi all! Yes, I've been horrible about staying current with my blog. Switching back to dial-up to save$$ makes this a bit harder :-). But, right now I'm sitting at my sister Darby's house (the brunette in all the pics with her husband, Brent) and decided to share some pics from our Out West Excursion.

As you can see, we went to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, went boating on Lake Powell, and even hit the Caesar's Palace FAO Schwartz Toy Store and the Margaritaville (home to our Little Miss Magic's song-sake) after our flight into Las Vegas!

These extra 2 cuties in the pics are my sister's kids, Ayla (8) and Matthew (12). My kids adore their cousins and are heartbroken that we are leaving in the morning -- back to Alabama -- and school :-).

Better late than never, right?

2006-10-02T07:49:00.000-07:00

Well, to make a long story short, this weekend my three kids were baptised. In the Roman Catholic Church, as in many others, this should have been done shortly after birth. Given my propensity to procrastinate, my geographical distance from family, and quite honestly, my own debates about religion, I wasn't sure when it would happen. But, the fact that Jonah is supposed to make his First Reconciliation and First Holy Communion this year (the former next month!!), I ran out of excuses.

The day was absolutely lovely. My sister, with the same list of excuses, brought her two children, Matthew (12) and Ayla (7) to be baptised as well. My mother would have been so happy -- or perhaps she is. Now, all of her grandchildren have been baptised and have had original sin cleansed away. Archie, in fact, thinks his "meanness" was washed away, LOL, and Jonah had to ask Monsignor Gracz if "his sin went away all at once or if he had to wait a little while for it to happen?" LOL!!

Maren was just delighted by her gorgeous white slip dress -- that matched Ayla's -- and freaked a bit when it was time to have the water poured over her head. As Monsignor said "in the name of the Father, "in the name of the Son, "and in the name of the Holy Spirit" as he poured water on her head" Maren said, "no," stop," and "all done" in unison with him. It was quite funny!

I'll post pics soon, I hope~ but now I must start packing for our Disney vacation. A whole week with my sister and her kids!!! I'm ecstatic, and having cousins around made my kids so happy. Archie even astutely noted that Maren needs a big sister...she adores Ayla. Ah, but that's something I can't do anything about right now :-).

Happy Fall! Carol

It finally happened

2006-09-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

Archie (nearly 4), stormed down the stairs about 30 minutes after I put him to bed, "Mom, I wish Maren didn't have Down syndrome." My heart sank...how could my baby boy say this about his sister -- Down syndrome is a part of her I'd never want to take away. "Why Archie?" With a disgusted huff and folded arms, he responded, "Because she won't stay out of my room so I can go to sleep." Bahhhhhh! Apparently, for Archie, Down syndrome means "annoying sister activities." Well, I laughed, and explained to Archie that all sisters and brothers annoy one another, and this has nothing to do with T21. Oh, said Archie, "so if I take away Down syndrome Maren would still come in my room?" Yes, Archie, she will still come in your room. And with that, he returned to bed, and moments later I hear the pitter patter of little feet as Maren snuck back to Archie's room to snuggle her brother. Sorry Archie, your stuck with a sister who loves to be with you. Must stink, eh? To be too loved....what a problem he has!

Maren's First Prom Picture!!

2006-09-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

I never went to my prom. I was the girl that just didn't get asked. I had lots of boy "friends" but never a "boyfriend" in high school. So, the possibilty of my daughter not going to prom never seemed like a T21 thing. But, Maren just has the fabulously magical personality -- hence my blog name. And, boys and girls alike seem to gravitate to Maren. At soccer, even, I've had moms and dads come up to me to tell me how much they adore watching her, and some even have told me that they remember her from the dance recitals!! And, really, it's not a T21 pity thing, it's a "that kid just radiates" thing -- but to understand, I guess you'd havae to be there, LOL.

Anyway, RISE is doing a Save the Date Card for a New Year's Fundraising Ball. And, here's the pic from the card -- Maren's first of many prom pictures, I'm sure :-).

Sick of soccer yet, LOL?

2006-09-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

Well, two weeks in and I'm holding up. I'm having to work on my identity issues a bit...but hey, the kids are having an awesome time and I adore the coaches. Coach Mike is a colleaugue's husband and is simply phenomenal with kids. Each time Maren is supposed to go to a different coach for drills, she somehow winds right back up with Mike...she adores him.

So,here are some shots of the kids, and in particular check out Maren's kick...it's a hoot!

Labor Day

2006-09-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

So, it's labor day and what am I doing? Laboring! Yes, that's right. While Jon is out having fun with the kids, I'm in my office working. Taking a quick break, I thought I'd share a pic from this time last year that always brings a smile to my heart!

Roll Tide Roll!!

Yes, It's true. I'm officially a Soccer Mom.

2006-09-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it through week 1 of soccer practice. And, quite sheepishly I admit that I rather enjoyed it :-). Jonah is in the 8 and under group, Maren and Archie are in the 6 and under group. The practice times are actually quite fun for the kids. There is no goalie, no scorekeeper, no real competition. The parks and recreation department has set up this soccer league for kids to learn the rules, and to enjoy playing soccer. My kids are having an awesome time, and hence...I am loving it too. I don't have to listen to competitive parents screaming at their children to be more aggressive. I don't have to watch coaches berate children because they kicked the ball too far away from their bodies.

Instead, the young kids play "kick the coach" and try to chase the coach with their balls. They play "chicken nuggets" as they try to learn to change feet on the ball. They play "soccersauraus" as they try to keep the ball away from the coach so he or she doesn't "eat" their ball and walk around with it under his or her shirt. The kids squeal with delight and are learning to play a sport under optimal conditions. Who could ask for more?!

So, then, you ask, how is Maren doing? Well, on Tuesday I'll take some pictures because a picture truly is worth 1,000 words. She's decked in her pink Diadora soccer shoes, pink shin guards, pink shirt, and pink glasses. She's the soccer diva!!! She is loving playing out there and though she certainly isn't the best player -- she isn't the worst - BY FAR, LOL.

And, again, as I watch her play next to Archie who is just so athletic and natural, my heart swells with pride and love admiring them both -- just trying their best to be their best. What mom could ask for more? And, as an added bonus...I get an hour where they aren't bickering...peace!

Ah, the end of summer.....

2006-08-16T07:10:00.000-07:00

This summer, I resolved to spend less time on the computer and more time with my own work and with the kids. I think I was quite successful given the date of the last blog post :-). Now, back to reality -- and cyberreality, YEAH.

We had a great summer. Jonah tried skiing for the first time and is now begging for a seadoo boat. Dream on Jonah! But, we will find a place to ski more often next summer. He has started second grade and will make his First Holy Communication around Easter. He is about finished DragonRider, and is looking for more great books about dragons, knights, wizards, and intrigue. I'm so blessed to have an avid reader!

Archie (my would rather throw books than read them kid) has learned to read a bit, and has become quite a little man. Archie Baby is long gone. Well, he still has is Archie-isms: pian-e-o, vessert, porcupines (pincones), and volukus (blokus). He's a hoot that kid! All of a sudden, he likes books and adores puzzles. Who would have guessed??

And, Maren, well, that girl just shines. She is reading her sight words, understanding phonics, and loves going FAST in boats. She is starting soccer, in addition to ballet, this fall. So now, I'll have three kids in soccer. A minivan, a soccer mom....UGH.... I promised I would never become THAT mother. Oh Boy!

So, rather than bore you with all the details of summer, I'll share my two favorite pics. The kids sleeping in the hotel, and the kids ready for some skiing action.

Happy School! Carol

My very own Fairy -- Tale (aka Maren's 5th Birthday)

2006-05-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

Ah, count the candles.....ah, what a mother can do in a moment of party chaos. Can anyone photshop two more candles on here for me????
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Ever since I was a little girl, I've had a love of fairies. They are at once beautiful and ethereal, and spunky and earthly. I love the grace and strength of fairies. I love their attachment to and oneness with nature. I love the notion that they can cast a spell -- and make people see beauty in the world, and can get little girls around the world to believe in the unbelievable. I love sheer thought of fairies -- and I spent many days wishing I could inhabit the fairy world and would lose myself in daydreams of gardens, pixies, and leprechauns.

Well, for Maren's fifth birthday party, she demanded one thing! BARBIE. Okay, for some of you that might not be a problem, but for me, Barbie is horrendous. I detest the image of beauty she represents, from the flowing blonde hair to the unnaturally large breasts on an unnaturally small frame (and yes, scientists have demonstrated that her proportions are impossible and would require the removal of two ribs ;-). So, what's a mother with a 5 year old Barbie obsessed gal to do? Ah, for the saving grace of Barbie Fairytopia! (I'm okay with fairy imagination, but not commodified for marketing beauty falsehood, LOL). Fairytopia --- Barbie's world filled with fairies and mermaids, and mythical creatures galore.

So, Maren's party was a huge hit (other than in my moments of adrenalin rush and glee I only put three candles on her cake, LOL). The guests all got necklaces with their fairy names, they decorated wands, hunted for fairies (girls) or frogs (boys). We played "Help the Fairy Catch the Star" (an artistic version of Pin the Tail on the Donkey). The guests got cute stuffed animal type flowers for their wrists and magnifying glasses, and bubbles. They got more loot than Maren :-). We ate fairy food (bug crackers mixed with colored marshmallows) and drank nectar apple juice. We had a butterfly pinata filled with magical goodies --- all in an idyllic arboretum backdrop. Maren's party was truly fairy-tastic.

She turns 5 officially on Tuesday, but Saturday marked a real celebration of her life with friends and loved ones who joined to celebrate all that is beautiful in life and nature. Maren was the star, and boy did she enjoy being the center of attention!

The next morning (Mother's Day) a sleeply little girl, clad in her new nightgown from her dear friend Emma Grace (daughter of Maren's first teacher), came down the stairs with her party ballons, threw her arms around me and said, "I love my fairy party. I have another fairy day." I think our 6 year old theme is set!

-- Who am I to argue with the Daisy Fairy? She has clearly cast her spell on me and I am offically transfixed by her beauty and magic. And, if my life with my Little Miss Magic is all a dream brought on by pixie dust and incantations, may I never wakeup.

Love my baby girl......

2006-05-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

To say that I cannot sing is an understatement. When my oldest, Jonah, was just 6 months old, I'd sing to him, and he'd put his hands over his ears. No, I'm not exaggerating, ask Jon. And, by the time he was 16 months old, he'd cry "no mommy. no singing." Guess I'm pretty bad. Now, that wouldn't be such a problem if I didn't LOVE to sing, and if I didn't do it often -- frequently in public. I can't help myself. I'm 36 [(real age 32.5) http://www.realage.com :-).]

I hear music, and I sing. Okay, to be honest, sometimes I'll even dance. If you've ever seen the show MotorMouth that catches people belting out tunes and boogying in their cars -- well, that could be me.

Well, not surprisingly, my love of singing and be-bopping has been genetically transmitted to each of my children. To be honest, poor Jonah got my tone-deafness, and when rhythm was handed out, Jonah was in the presale line for the next installment of Harry Potter ;-). So, like me, Jonah loves music, but I'll encourage a career in academe, though he quite a proficient second year piano player.

Archie, my adventure, is quite musically inclined. As noted in my earlier blog, he is a songwriter, and can carry a tune, and he even has rythym.And, oh my fairy Maren. She is the most music loving child of them all. She loves music and complains if we go anywhere without the I-Pots (I-Pod). She adores Jack Johnson, Laurie Berkner, Drake Bell (from Drake and Josh), Green Day, Counting Crows and Jimmy Buffett.

But above all, she loves Sugarland and specifically their song "Baby Girl." Maren is convinced Baby Girl was written for her. She asks for it at least 5 times a day, and has since Christmas. I'm getting sick of it, but Maren's love only grows. If Jennifer Nettles saw Maren sing "They say this town, the stars stay up all night" I know we'd have a video booking! She's a heartbreaker.

When people wonder "what life will be like with a child with Down syndrome?" I wish I could bring them to my house and let them peek. For us, it means 3 kids and one wacky mom (and dad watching on) with the stereo on high, dancing and singing, pretending we are on American Idol. It means listening to Baby Girl 500 times because when clasps her hands, falls to her knees, gives me the mischevious smile, and says "please please please Baby Girl" I cannot say "no."

All but one of us, I'm sure, is out of key and Simon Cowell would certainly look on in horror! Paula might compliment our wardrobes, and for our personality Randy would put us in the dog pound. But for us, it's our slice of family love. And when the verse:

"Whaddya know, we made our dreams come true.
"An' there are fancy cars an' diamond rings,
"But you know that they don't mean a thing.
"Well, they all add up to nothin' compared to you.
"Well, remember me in ribbons an' curls.
"I still love you more than anything in the world:
"Love,
"Your baby girl"

starts to play, I stop dancing for a moment while Maren takes center stage and tries to belt out each word, and runs them altogether so the only thing that sounds clear is "Love your baby girl," and I think "Yes, nothing compares to you and I will always love you more than anything in the world. You have made my dreams come true." What more could a mom ask for than a moment of unabashed dancing and joy with her children.

Of course, thirty seconds later, we are on to "Wake Me up When September Ends" (Green Day) and Archie is going full tilt on air guitar and Jonah anxiously anticipates his air drum solo. And, then, I'm reminded that "the innocent never last." Well, I think I'll hold on to it as long as possible and enjoy our band -- and love that makes singing out of tune and dancing without rhythm, and listening to the same song for the umpteenth time part of what we call happiness.

And, in Maren's words (immitating Full House's Michelle) "Rock on Dudes!"

Siblings, Death, and Down syndrome --- Musings inspired by a 3 year old!

2006-05-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

Archie -- my baby -- my sweet little boy. Okay, not so sweet, and certainly not a baby anymore. He's actually an adventure. Lately, Archie (3 1/2) has been in top form. For the past few days, he and Jonah (7 1/2) have been fighting non-stop. Finally, Jon stops them and gives them the "when your mom and I are gone, your siblings are all you have" speech. Yes, you know the one that comes about 4 years before "I walked to school 5 miles in the snow, uphill, both ways speech." :-).

A few minutes later ChiChi is at the piano composing his latest tune entitled, "If my mommy dies." Yes, you read that right. And, his composition was quite "Barenaked ladies," complete with "if my mommy dies I'll have to drive myself to school," and "if my mommy dies, I'll have to make my own dinner." (I expected to hear, "but we'd would" come out of his mouth.) It ended with a deep, long, and powerful "WHEN MY MO-MMMMM-Y D-I-E-S." Song in motion. That's my Archie!

So, this morning, Archie woke-up in a good mood and so far, the fighting has been a bit less than in days past. I hate to pull the "die" card, but at this point -- whatever works :-).

When people worry about the effect of having a child with T21 (Down syndrome) on their other kids, I look at my three amazingly unique and perfect individuals, and wonder the opposite, "How sad would our family be without Maren?" She is the highlighting pen that makes us notice the uniqueness and specialness of each of our kids. She helps us notice the important, often easily overlooked daily passages of life. She helps us appreciate each moment with each of them. And, because of Maren, we stop and look for the meaning in even the smallest daily event -- and we mark it, color on it, and commit it to memory. We know that we must pay attention to the details, something that often gets lost in a textbook life. We take nothing for granted -- and even enjoy songs about our ultimate demise.

It's easy for people to fear the unknown, I guess -- like death, and for some, Down syndrome. But, with death, most people think that leaving this world brings untold riches in the afterlife, and they take comfort in that. I only wish people would have such faith in the extra chromosome. In this land of unknown, there are untold riches. If you have faith in one, certainly you should have faith in the other. I just wish more people would realize that real "life" comes in embracing the unknown rather than running from it in fear. And, at my death (hopefully a long time from now so Archie will be able to legally drive, LOL), I will know that I truly have no regrets and what ifs. I lived the unknown, and boy is it beautiful. "When I D-I-E" ....... fade to Archie tickling the ivories.

The Switzerland Barbies (Caroline, Mary Ella, Maren, and Alli)

2006-04-30T16:43:00.000-07:00

We went to see the Wizard

2006-04-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

Our local newspaper had a story about a teen actor with trisomy 21, Ian Terry, on the front page. Ian had two small roles in the Tuscaloosa Children's Theatre production of the Wizard of Oz.

We had planned on taking our 3 kids to see the play anyway -- we love TCT productions, but this made the performance extra-21-special for us. When Ian, and another chromosomally enhanced actor, Carly Lay, walked on stage as Munchkins and Ozians, I started to cry.

I wasn't crying out of sadness, but utter joy. See, I often think the biggest lie we perpetrate in our society is that we just want "happy, healthy children." Deep down I think each of us really wants a superstar -- Dorothy, the Tin Man, even the Witch. We want the child who will steal the show and make other parents jealous. "Oh, I wish Janie could sing like that -- Did you see how well the Tin Man danced? -- One day Elsie will be the marquis actor, I'm sure."

Well, having Maren in my life has brought untold blessings, and sitting in the Bama theatre, I realized one of the most important. What do I want for all my children? To be a star? Sure, maybe somewhere I'll always harbor that dream that seems part of the quintessential American experience. But more importantly, I want my children to fit seemlessly into society. I want them to be comfortable being part of the world -- and to be able to walk through this world with their heads held high, knowing that not everyone can be a star, but that there really is no OZ without the Lullabye League.

I want them to have friends who see that it doesn't take a star to be special, but that life is about heart, soul, and friendship. And sometimes, friends bound together in song are more powerful than soloists singing to their own tune.

To Carly and Ian, thank you for showing us that every star needs a chorus, and that every choir member is special to someone! I adore you both :-). And, when Maren, Jonah, and Archie are ready to perform, may they hold your hands and make the inclusion Over the Rainbow a reality in every town right here in North America.

Jimmy Buffett's Lyrics and a sneak peek into the future

2006-04-23T22:31:00.000-07:00

Jimmy Buffett's song that gave rise to Maren's nickname has a few lines that really rang true to my heart this week,

"One day she’s gonna learn how to fly
That I won’t deny
I see a little more of me everyday........
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?
Little miss magic, just can’t wait to see

I have to admit, I have very few real fears about Maren growing up. I know some people stress about having a child with special needs who might need "more" than their typically developing siblings, or who might have social problems more than other children. For the most part I'm an optimistic pragmatist: All kids have needs. All kids have problems. All kids are worth every drop of love and every breath of life.

But, my real hope for Maren is that she has true friendships -- though in reality, I know I have only developed them myself since my mid-twenties ;-). Anyway, our community has a Catholic school that includes children with T21. On several occassions, I've witnessed jr. high school students and elemetary students interact with the kids with an extra 21st, and I've been delighted.

The kids are their "friends" for real -- not just buddies who are assigned to them, or friends out of pity -- even "Christian" obligation. Just friends. One friend of ours, whose daughter is 12 now, reassures me that I'm not wrong. Her daughter is on the dance team, and is a real member and fully included in sleep overs, boy talk (ugh!), and prank plotting.

Well, this week when I picked Maren up, I saw a young girl who is the daughter of a teacher's aide at Holy Spirit. Allison is 14, a swimmer, on student gov't, and quite cute! She looked at Maren and asked, "Does she have Down syndrome?"

I said "yes, she does....." and waited to hear the reason she asked... with a sinking feeling my utopia would be lost. "Oh, I thought so," she said. "So does one of my boyfriends, JonMichael. I keep waiting for him to ask me to our 7th grade dance and if he doesn't do it soon, I'm going to have to go with one of my other boyfriends."

I about cried right there. She knows JM has T21, but for her, it really is just another characteristic, like blonde hair or brown eyes!! If Maren can have this kind of true friendship and comraderie of peers through 7th grade, I'll pay my tuition in one lump sum today!

Anyway, I know many of us struggle with what-ifs, but know that in some place, inclusion can and does work! Here, I think, it works because all the parents are very involved in a small tight-knit community, and the majority of kids stay together from preschool through high school. And, regardless of what happens after 7th grade, clearly a respect and love has developed among the kids here that shows me it can happen anywhere with the right attitudes of parents and school members who stress the uniqueness and specialness of all children!

And, as I wonder if JM will ask Allison to the dance, I also know that my other two children, Jonah and Archie, will have great friends and romantic interests, too. Um, Allison is seven years older than Jonah -- if she likes younger men, she'd make a darned great daughter-in-law!

So, Maren, what are you gonna be? I'm hoping a beauty in a 7th grade prom dress ;-).

Sleepless and Restless

2005-12-03T00:26:00.000-08:00

It's 2:30 am here in the deep south, and tonight, for the first time, I logged on to this beautiful blog started for me by my dear friend Tara Marie, mom to the amazing Miss Emma Sage.

I'm a bit apprehensive about blogging--afraid that for me it might just be blathering. I am certain that beginning this late at night will produce nothing but incoherent ramblings, but I wanted to force myself to begin, and to thank my dear friend who started this whole adventure so I could help share the beauty, joy, and glory that is embodied in my amazing little girl, Maren.

May you always dance....

2005-11-16T16:00:00.000-08:00

Little Miss Magic,,,,,may you always dance and may you always keep a song in your heart and a smile on your face.

We love you dearly, your bestest friend, Emma Sage and Mommy!

Little Miss Magic.......

2005-11-16T15:31:00.000-08:00

By: jimmy buffett
1980
For the noop

Constantly amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling
The clever little glances she gives me can’t help but be appealing
She loves to ride into town with the top down
Feel that warm breeze on her gentle skin
She is my next of kin
Chorus:I see a little more of me everyday
I catch a little more moustache turning gray
Your mother is the only other woman for me
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?
Sometimes I catch her dreamin’ and wonder where that little mind meanders
Is she strollin’ along the shore or cruisin’ o’er the broad savannah
I know someday she’ll learn to make up her own rhymes
Someday she’s gonna learn how to fly
Oh that I won’t deny
Chorus:I catch a little more dialogue comin’ my way
I see those big brown eyes just start to lookin’ astray
Your mother’s still the only other woman for me
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?
Yes she loves to ride into town with the top down
Feel that warm breeze on her gentle skin
She is my next of kin
Constantly amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling
Those clever little looks she gives just can’t help but be appealing
I know someday she’ll learn to make up her own rhymes
One day she’s gonna learn how to fly
That I won’t deny
Chorus:I see a little more of me everyday
I feel a little more moustache turning gray
Your mother’s still the only other woman for me
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?
Little miss magic, just can’t wait to see
It’s raining, it’s pouring
Your old man is snoring

For My Friend........

2005-11-16T15:16:00.000-08:00

In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. ~ Kahlil Gibran