Little Miss Magic: I don't like your stupid club!

When Normal is Special 8/8/2007

About 6 1/2 years ago, I was in a hospital bed in Park Ridge, Illinois holding onto to Maren and drinking in her every baby smell and nuzzling my cheek against the fuzz on her little head. I held her and loved her, and tried to imagine what Down syndrome really meant in our lives.

I had visions of Life Goes On, and smiles came to my face. I remembered Corky working at the movie theater, and wondered if Maren would find a job like that. I remembered how hard it was for him when he couldn't drive like his girlfriend, who also had T21, and wondered what would be in her future.

I thought about Special Olympics, and I thought about Special Education. Those were good and happy things in my mind. And, still, they are. But, what I was lacking was a vision of the "non-special" things that Maren would do, as well. I lacked the concepts of everyday life with my Little Miss Magic that would make her life, our lives, more "normal," than different or "special."

Certainly, I never thought that at 6 years old, she'd be on ballet recital number three, or that she'd have a wardrobe and personal style that I would love to have, or that she'd fight with her friends over who got to be "Gabriella and who had to be Sharpay" in High School Musical re-enactments. I never thought that she'd like Pink and Barbie (goodness knows I detest both and swore that I'd never allow either in my house, LOL), and I never imagined that on her first day of kindergarten, she'd be embarrassed to hug me goodbye.

Yes, it's true, Maren has already decided hugging Mom and Dad isn't cool. She won't even blow kisses on school grounds. But, Coach Mike and Mrs. Whitley, and Sister Elaine --- now they get HUGE hugs -- apparently, it's cool to hug them; parents: not so much. UGH. How is that for typical? Jon, my husband, thought surely Maren would kiss him goodbye today. Heck, she even dropped his hand when they approached the door. She wants to be the big girl on campus. And, two days into Kindy, it certainly looks like she is to us.

So, now, I think back on those hours I held Maren and thought of the few "Special" things that I knew about, and realize that nothing is as a special as the normalcy of every day life with my Little Miss Magic. I really wish I would have known then what I know now, that life is life - with or without an extra chromosome. Certainly, there are some differences, but it is all in our focus. I will focus on the beauty and charm. And, here she is, with her handsome brother Jonah who began the third grade!

So yesterday I realized how wonderfully prepared my daughter is for taking on the social world. She jumped in the car and said "Brooke is a mean girl." Yes, Maren is in first grade and Brooke has been a good friend since preschool. But, as children grow, friends change on a dime.

I inquired, "How is Brooke mean?"

Maren responded, "She won't let me be in her club."

As a mom, my heart felt heavy. I hate it when children exclude one another. It breaks my heart for any child, Jonah, Archie, or the little girl sitting alone on the swings. To be honest, though, when Maren said it, I hurt a bit more -- terrified that it signaled things to come.

Before I could respond, Maren said, "I told her she's a mean girl and I don't want to be in her stupid club."

Immediately, my fears dissolved. Miss Magic can take care of herself! In fact, when I was in first grade, heck even now, I don't deal with exclusion as well as she did.

But, here is the kicker... Today Maren brought home a card from Brooke, complete with flowers and trees, rainbows, and pictures of Sponge Bob -- and Maren and Brooke holding hands.

The card said, "To my best friend. Maren is my best friend. Love Brooke."

I don't know if Maren's words struck a chord with Brooke, or if it was just a natural cycle in little girls' friendships, but I do know that Maren is blessed by wonderful friends and great social intuition!

Little Miss Magic by Jimmy Buffett lyrics

Constantly amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling
The clever little glances she gives me can't help but be appealing
She loves to ride into town with the top down
Feel that warm breeze on her gentle skin
She is my next of kin

Chorus:
I see a little more of me everyday
I catch a little more moustache turning gray
Your mother is the only other woman for me
Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?

Sometimes I catch her dreamin' and wonder where that little mind meanders
Is she strollin' along the shore or cruisin' o'er the broad Savannah
I know someday she'll learn to make up her own rhymes
Someday she's gonna learn how to fly
Oh that I won't deny

Chorus:
I catch a little more dialogue comin' my way
I see those big brown eyes just start to lookin' astray
Your mother's still the only other woman for me
Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?

Yes she loves to ride into town with the top down
Feel that warm breeze on her gentle skin
She is my next of kin

Constantly amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling
Those clever little looks she gives just can't help but be appealing
I know someday she'll learn to make up her own rhymes
One day she's gonna learn how to fly
That I won't deny

Chorus:
I see a little more of me everyday
I feel a little more moustache turning gray
Your mother's still the only other woman for me
Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?
Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?
Little Miss Magic, just can't wait to see

It's raining, It's pouring
Your old man is snoring

4 comments:

Chris 5:52 AM: What is it about first grade girls and "clubs"?

I can remember my oldest not being included in one of her friend's clubs. Her solution was to start a club of her own. Over time, these little girls all ended up having one big club.

Good for Maren for able to navigate the incredibly complex world of first grade females! :)
Krishanna@Active Gray Matter 11:49 AM: Heheh... I am going to remember that the next time some dumb girl excludes me from something. =) Yay, Maren!
Unknown 10:09 AM: Yes, Little Miss Magic can and will take care of herself, even in the face of 'childhood' un-nicities......and I do believe Brooke listened to Maren's words and realized that her words and exlusion hurt and tried to correct her action. How cool is that!!!

We had a very similar conversation on Friday night, as Emma Sage realized that on Saturday at the Buddy Walk, she would face Hannah and her keeping Abbie to herself.....

Abbie is 13 and Hannah 12, but Abbie and Emma Sage are the best of friends by design of my watching Abbbie before and after school....so when there is a group gathering, Hannah takes Abbie away from Emma Sage. She told me "Hannah is jealous that Abbie is my friend too!" lol!!!

I so want our little girls to get the opportunity to meet IRL.....I'd love to watch and see them develop a friendship together [who knows though, they might stick together like glue, or they might be like oil and water....either way, I know they will figure it out on their own]

So.....why do you have to live so far away??????
Anonymous 4:17 AM: I love your girl! She is right on about that 1st grade stuff - being in and out changes about every hour! Good for her to discuss and make decisions! Maren, you rock!

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When Normal is Special 8/8/2007

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I don't like your stupid club!

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