Little Miss Magic: June 2007

When Normal is Special 8/8/2007

About 6 1/2 years ago, I was in a hospital bed in Park Ridge, Illinois holding onto to Maren and drinking in her every baby smell and nuzzling my cheek against the fuzz on her little head. I held her and loved her, and tried to imagine what Down syndrome really meant in our lives.

I had visions of Life Goes On, and smiles came to my face. I remembered Corky working at the movie theater, and wondered if Maren would find a job like that. I remembered how hard it was for him when he couldn't drive like his girlfriend, who also had T21, and wondered what would be in her future.

I thought about Special Olympics, and I thought about Special Education. Those were good and happy things in my mind. And, still, they are. But, what I was lacking was a vision of the "non-special" things that Maren would do, as well. I lacked the concepts of everyday life with my Little Miss Magic that would make her life, our lives, more "normal," than different or "special."

Certainly, I never thought that at 6 years old, she'd be on ballet recital number three, or that she'd have a wardrobe and personal style that I would love to have, or that she'd fight with her friends over who got to be "Gabriella and who had to be Sharpay" in High School Musical re-enactments. I never thought that she'd like Pink and Barbie (goodness knows I detest both and swore that I'd never allow either in my house, LOL), and I never imagined that on her first day of kindergarten, she'd be embarrassed to hug me goodbye.

Yes, it's true, Maren has already decided hugging Mom and Dad isn't cool. She won't even blow kisses on school grounds. But, Coach Mike and Mrs. Whitley, and Sister Elaine --- now they get HUGE hugs -- apparently, it's cool to hug them; parents: not so much. UGH. How is that for typical? Jon, my husband, thought surely Maren would kiss him goodbye today. Heck, she even dropped his hand when they approached the door. She wants to be the big girl on campus. And, two days into Kindy, it certainly looks like she is to us.

So, now, I think back on those hours I held Maren and thought of the few "Special" things that I knew about, and realize that nothing is as a special as the normalcy of every day life with my Little Miss Magic. I really wish I would have known then what I know now, that life is life - with or without an extra chromosome. Certainly, there are some differences, but it is all in our focus. I will focus on the beauty and charm. And, here she is, with her handsome brother Jonah who began the third grade!

Wow! I really thought I'd keep up on my blog once school let out, and answer my dear friends' emails (that I've put on hold waiting for real quiet time, LOL), but when free time came -- it became family time. After a year of major trials and tribulations, I finally feel free and happy. And, Jon and I have made time over the last two months just to love our kids and one another. So nice! And, during our retreat from the world, Maren has continued to grow.

She was a beautiful birthday girl, celebrating her sixth birthday in style with a Barbie (yuck!) celebration at home and a High School Musical party with her friends. She got her first real bike (a purple Trek Surfer Girl!) and is riding it so well we are going to try to ditch the training wheels this summer! She painted her own nails for the first time. Okay, truth be told, she painted her fingers, including the nails :-). She lapped up the sun on the beach and loved fighting the waves in SanDestin, Florida.

And, most importantly, Little Miss Magic had her THIRD dance recital. She was a Little Mermaid and danced to Part of Your World. Well, year 1, she did a few twirls and kisses at the end of the routine. Last year, she improved quite a bit, dancing much of the routine and getting a huge round of applause -- even bigger than the first year. Well, this year I had high, high hopes. In fact, as the soloist from the Company performed, rather than have a pit in my stomache that Maren would never be a soloist, I actually wondered what song her solo will be set to when she's a teen! I saw her dancing and beaming, adoring the dance!

Then, several pre-k groups came out and several girls cried. As Part of Your world started, dancers came on the stage one by one. I was giddy with anticipation, and then I saw Marla -- a teacher -- carrying Maren out. She was in tears and holding on for dear life. My heart dropped. I felt so bad that she was so scared.

Then, out came Maren, bouncing with full joy! The crying girl was a friend -- not my Maren. Maren got into position with a big smile, and then, turned to talk to her friend to check on her. Then, without looking for cues, she picked right back up and danced. After a plie and a fairy turn, she comforted her friend, and then sashayed into her circle. She did her perfect Mermaid pose, checked on her friend, did the routine and hit her final pose. She bowed, blew kisses, and brought down the house.

After three years of dance, Maren has learned how to dance, how to memorize a routine, and how to work a crowd. But, more importantly, she has taught me to appreciate those events -- and not to expect them, like so many mothers. In fact, one mom, whose daughter cried during dress rehearsal, kept her daughter off stage altogether rather than risk being "embarrassed" by her daughter during the recital. So pathetic...she'll never get it! Maren's success is all the more sweet because of the effort it took to get there. She couldn't embarrass me if she fell to the stage and bawled. I love Maren not for what she does, but the heart with which she does it.

So, at six, she's riding a bike, starting her 4th year of dance, swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, sneaking kisses from Troy Bolton on television, playing soccer decked in pink from head to toe, preparing for kindergarten at a Catholic School (she loves wearing her brother's shirts around the house). She plays Barbie and High School Musical with her friends (and argues quite skillfully if they won't let her be Gabriella). She is making real friends -- reciprocal friends -- who love and appreciate Maren as much as she loves and assists them. Who could ask for more? And, certainly this is a life worth living!