So long, So many changes -- a move, a new school, a flood

In a 4 month nutshell, Jon got a job in the Altanta area on July 1 and on July 15th, we were moving in to a new home in Cobb County, Ga. And, lucky me -- I commute 3.25 hours each way to work -- but only 2 days a week. And, truthfully, I don't mind it. In the big scheme of things, I'm in the car less than many daily Atlanta area commuters :-). Our master bedroom got some minor flooding in this Atlanta flood -- yeah for renting!

The kids are in a new school and loving it. There are 850 kids, which freaked me out, but it has a great feel, and of course, within the week, as soon as we pulled up, kids and teachers alike were saying "Hi Maren," "What's up Maren," "Hey Maren, want to come play." In fact, Archie and Jonah think it is hysterical that everyone knows Maren, and only their classmates know them! Luckily, they take it in stride and see having Maren as a sister an honor, not a detractor! They like the perks they get from her popularity.

Maren started ballet and tap at a studio close to our house, and she loves her new tap shoes. UGH. I do not...but she's a pretty good Happy Feet kid! Jazz is on hold for now -- we can only do so much :-).

Worst thing about the move...well, now it is not "Can we go to Outback?" me: "no." "How about Chili's?" me: "no."

Now it is, "Can we eat at Bucca Da Beppo?" me: "not tonight."
"Can we got to Dave and Busters?" me: "Of course not, and don't ask about ESPN Zone either Maren."
"How about Blue Moon Pizza?" me: "um, no. we are eating at home."
"I like Tijuana Joe's." me :::::: silence and an eye roll.
"How 'bout Willy's?" me: "Maren, I said no!"
"Okay, I'll go to Fuddruckers." me: "For the last time. I said no. We are eating at home." "Fine...... I'll just go to Chili's." Sigh....

And, then, as she eats the dinner I have prepared -- "Tomorrow I go to the zoo." And, yes, like Finnegans Wake, we begin again!

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Real Life Space Cadets...

When we went to Brig's graduation, we finally made the trip to the Hunstville Space and Rocket Center. It was a great day, and the kids had a blast! The highlight, though, was an unexpected one: Star Trek in IMAX. I'm not a Trekkie (shocker, eh?), but even I loved the movie.

And, there was one hilarious Maren moment. As Kirk and a green alien are gettin' busy, Maren yells out "oooh, they're gettin' sexy!" Great, I guess she really is 8! Sheesh...

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A Graduation to Celebrate!

This weekend, my kids and I took a two-hour drive to see dear friends, friends of 8 years now, friends we've only seen IRL once, but friends who mean as much to us as people we "see" everyday. We are friends connected by an extra chromosome and somehow, that connection is so deep that words simply cannot convey my feelings adequately, other than to say I truly love them.

So, when we received an invite to Brig's HS graduation party, we were going! And, we did. And, here are some pics that just capture the essence of the connection... Brig and my boys, Brig and Maren, Brig's sister and cousin with Maren, and Brig's brothers and cousins with my sons.

There was no awkwardness. No wondering if anyone would be "looked at." No nervousness at all. Just the kind of ease that comes with knowing that we are connected, and nothing matters except BRIG's HUGE celebration! And, what a peek into the future it was for me :-).

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Maren's 4th Dance Recital...The Sea and Hey Mickey!~

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Happy 8th Birthday Maren!

The night before Maren was born, I was admitted to Advocate Lutheran General in Park Ridge, IL. I was begging Jon for 5-Cheese Lasagna from Leona's, and cruelly, he turned me down, using the pathetic "you can't eat in labor" excuse. Hullo? Have you given birth? I need energy to get me through it. Anyway, I had to settle for ice chips and sugar-free hard candy. So, today, when I asked Maren what she wanted for dinner, it was only fitting that she asked for Manacotti -- a girl after her mother's cheese and tomato sauce lovin' heart!

Ah, yes, it is true, my little MareBear turned 8 today, and I really don't know how. She was just my infant who talked to angels in the morning. I'd peak in her room and she'd be speaking in the most beautiful high pitched tones that clearly were intended for a celestial audience.

Then, she was my toddler who began ballet lessons and was scared her first time on stage, yet next week, she will have her 5th recital and she is eagerly anticipating her performances. Just a few short years ago, I wondered if she'd fit in with typically developing peers, and today, I have to wonder why I ever worried to begin with; she has dear friends -- friends who see her weaknesses and her strengths -- friends who invite her to parties and sleepovers, and friends who argue with her when they think she is wrong. Friends.

I sit back and just stare at my 8 year old and can't wait to see what the next 8 years will bring. More dance recitals. More friends. More girl tiffs. More sleepovers. More movies. And, boys....yes, in 8 years I presume Maren will have a boys in her life...cute boys! And, of course, she will have heartaches and heartbreaks.

In the next 8 years, Maren will continue to have amazing friends. Some of her friends now will be friends with her for life. She will make new friends, too. But, she will also seem increasingly behind her friends in some areas, as they develop more quickly than she will. And, some kids who have included Maren will fall away as their interests change. Some kids who previously didn't judge Maren will begin to judge. And, her heart will hurt. My heart will hurt.

And, then, I'll step back and dry my tears, shake it off and remember the tween and teen years are rough on every kid -- regardless of chromosome count. I will remember to focus on the friends who love her, not the peers who judge her. I will force myself to the reality of the world: nobody is universally loved. There are people who dislike President Obama, Stephen Hawking, Oprah Winfrey, Michael J. Fox, and even the Dalai Lama. People who chose to be judgmental will always find flaws. They will find them with Maren; they will find them with Jonah, they will find them with Archie, and God only knows, they don't have to look hard to find them with me.

So, each day will will continue to love and celebrate and enjoy all that is our Little Miss Magic. She will continue to grow and flourish. She will get older, taller, smarter, sassier, even funnier (if that is possible!). She will continue to show the world how beautiful she is -- and those who believe in magic, they will certainly find it in her.

Happy 8th Birthday Baby Girl! Each day with you is the greatest present I have ever gotten.

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LIfe's a day at the beach...or the pool...

This year has been extraordinarily stressful. Jon and I have to find jobs (both professors) in the same city. Timing has not been our friend... So, alas, next year holds yet another year of job searching, and uncertainty, and anxiety, and well, you get the idea.

So, Saturday morning, when we thought we might just explode from stress, we threw the kids in the car with nothing but our swimming bag with suits and pool/beach gear, basic toiletries, and a change of clothes, and decided to head to the beach. It's a 5 hour drive, but when you step on the sugary sand of the Florida Gulf Coast, 5 hours is a small price to pay for Heaven on Earth.

On the way, I checked out hotels on my Blackberry and hoped something would be available. Luckily, tons of locals headed to Talladega (where you couldn't catch me for a million dollars and my own talk show!).

The waves were rough, so we did most of the swimming in the pool, and I didn't even take my camera since it was so last minute. The pics are from my phone. But, we escaped and now, I think we can make it through the next month :-).

Anybody have a few hundred million dollars to give me? If you do, I'll start a new University in Destin -- I'll even name it after you :-).

(The girls at the Hannah Montana Movie last weekend).

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A budding friendship...and Hannah MOM-tana

For the last few months, yes months, Maren has been begging me to invite her friend Teresa over to play. And, to be honest, we've been so busy (and her room so messy!), that I've put it off.

Last night, Maren brought me the phone and told me to call Teresa's mom... NOW!... and I did. And, I had the best adult conversation I've had in months. What a great bonus!

Teresa's mom was thrilled I called, said that Teresa has been talking a lot about Maren lately, too. Funny, they were in Kindy together too, but it is only recently they've become closer. These are the times I wish I could get inside my kid's head -- why these friends? Why now? Do they share interests? Are they sitting by each other at school? Did Teresa just have a cool toy, or did she like one of Maren's share day items and it sparked a new friendship? And, what do they talk about when they hang out at school? Inquiring moms want to know.

But, of course, knowledge and nosiness has a price. This one...I'm taking the girls to see the new Hannah Montana movie on Saturday. Steep price, but I just have to know!

And, I may not get all the answers on Saturday, but I know this, I'll get time with my baby girl and Junior Mints -- you could say, I'll get the Best of Both Worlds. Cheap Shot, I know, but I just had to take it ;-).

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Sharing in the lives of two adults with T21

I can't add anything to this gorgeous couple's photo gallery ; instead, I'll let them speak for the themselves. STUNNING!
http://connywenk.com/darkroom/mt/mt-tb.cgi/54

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Susan Boyle, Britain's Got Talent, and Society

As she prepared to sing, people in the audience rolled their eyes and mocked her. Apparently, kids have bullied her since she was a little girl because of a disability, and sadly, she told the Mirror, she still sees those kids as adults, and still, they shun her. She is not pretty by a media consumer's standards. And, at 48, she's old -- and we all know that old equals ugly times 2, bahhh!

As I started to watch the youtube clip a friend sent me, with the heading "The Next William Hung," I started to cry. I was devastated that anyone would send me something that deliberately targeted another human being for being different. First, I study teasing, and second, I adore my child with T21. Both of those things make a bit more sensitive than I would have been even 10 years ago.

When the woman, Susan, said she had never been kissed; my heart ached. Nobody should ever be deprived of such a joyous experience -- we all deserve love. I looked at Susan and saw a funny, slightly odd (like most of my friends are odd) woman who would be great company -- and I started to feel sad and angry as I watched this woman get set up for ridicule. What kind of society do we live in? Clearly, one that loves to find people we can ostracize to make ourselves feel better, somehow.

Yet, as Susan began to sing, the audience erupted in applause. They were shocked -- her talent was unexpected. See, we expect amazing things to be wrapped in beautiful packages -- even wrapping our female babies in "bows" to present them to world as beautiful and precious objects of attention. Yet, Susan didn't appear in bows and curly ribbon. She was wrapped, like many of us, in well-worn brown paper -- wrinkled from use and worn a bit on the edges. And, yet, when she "opened-up," her glory was revealed!

I wasn't so much surprised by Susan's talent. If I've learned anything on this journey with Miss Magic, it is to put aside my expectations and embrace the experience as it comes. But, I was stunned by the audience!

Apparently, even those hardened by cynicism, contempt, and derision can open up and experience beauty when it is presented. It provides hope for all of and reminds me that this is why inclusion is so important -- people can't see beauty if we don't share it with them. I may want to protect Maren; hold her back from the possibility of being ridiculed, yet, by doing so, I prevent those who are willing to embrace her -- who simply don't know it yet.

To all those who rolled their eyes, and subsequently wiped their tears -- thank you. I do not condemn you for being cynical; you are part and parcel of our society. But, I embrace you for your openness. It gives us hope for a more loving world. To those who were able to open your hearts to Susan and see the magic in her talent, I offer you a standing ovation.

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Archie and Moses: AKA "How can my difficult child be so good? "

So, those who know our family know that Archie is my wild child. He has all all of my bad qualities -- he's stubborn, obnoxious, opinionated, and loud; he would rather lose a privilege than lose an argument. He drives me out of my mind somedays -- I look at Archie and see all that is wrong with me in a mini-form and I get angry that I still carry so many flaws, and that I've passed them on to him.

Then, there are nights like tonight, when I realize that his good qualities far outweigh the bad. He is my child who has never left a child alone on a playground. Since preschool, his teachers have commented on his gentle heart. His best friends at the RISE school were not the other other typically developing children, but the children he connected with on others levels: it never mattered if other children could walk, talk, or even feed themselves. Archie just "connects," in a profound way with other human beings. Even in Kindy, he rarely plays with the same child 2 days in a row. Everyone loves Archie, and he spreads his time around. Very unusual for a child of his age.

Archie shares. His toys are his friends' toys. If he has money at a baseball game, he buys candy for everyone, and if he can't, he shares what little he has. He never eats the last cookie without offering a piece to Jonah and Maren. He certainly didn't get that from me: I dive for the final morsel of any sweet ;-).

And, tonight, I was reminded of this soul like I was last year. The Ten Commandments were on, and the classic film bored Maren and Jonah in moments, just like in 2008, Archie watched the entire thing intently and intensely. He talked about what he remembered from school and church. He wanted me to print The Ten Commandments for him so he could read them when Moses came down from the mountain. He was annoyed, however, by the bad special effects of the burning bush, LOL.

Of course, he donned his costume and helped act out the scenes. He takes his Moses seriously! And, this year, he even played "compare and contrast" Moses versus Indiana Jones' expeditions.

So, though Archie inherited my baggage, he also has blessings of his own -- not thanks to me. And, I wonder ~~ where did this heart and soul in my six year old come from? Was he born with this amazing spirit -- or did growing up with Maren help shape the little person he has become and the little man he is becoming?

I guess what is important is that Maren has Archie and Jonah, and Archie has Maren and Jonah, and Jonah has two awesome younger sibs, and we have three kids to be eternally grateful for -- each so different, so challenging, so wonderful, and finally ---- so sleeping. Ahh, quiet ....

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