Little Miss Magic: December 2009

When Normal is Special 8/8/2007

About 6 1/2 years ago, I was in a hospital bed in Park Ridge, Illinois holding onto to Maren and drinking in her every baby smell and nuzzling my cheek against the fuzz on her little head. I held her and loved her, and tried to imagine what Down syndrome really meant in our lives.

I had visions of Life Goes On, and smiles came to my face. I remembered Corky working at the movie theater, and wondered if Maren would find a job like that. I remembered how hard it was for him when he couldn't drive like his girlfriend, who also had T21, and wondered what would be in her future.

I thought about Special Olympics, and I thought about Special Education. Those were good and happy things in my mind. And, still, they are. But, what I was lacking was a vision of the "non-special" things that Maren would do, as well. I lacked the concepts of everyday life with my Little Miss Magic that would make her life, our lives, more "normal," than different or "special."

Certainly, I never thought that at 6 years old, she'd be on ballet recital number three, or that she'd have a wardrobe and personal style that I would love to have, or that she'd fight with her friends over who got to be "Gabriella and who had to be Sharpay" in High School Musical re-enactments. I never thought that she'd like Pink and Barbie (goodness knows I detest both and swore that I'd never allow either in my house, LOL), and I never imagined that on her first day of kindergarten, she'd be embarrassed to hug me goodbye.

Yes, it's true, Maren has already decided hugging Mom and Dad isn't cool. She won't even blow kisses on school grounds. But, Coach Mike and Mrs. Whitley, and Sister Elaine --- now they get HUGE hugs -- apparently, it's cool to hug them; parents: not so much. UGH. How is that for typical? Jon, my husband, thought surely Maren would kiss him goodbye today. Heck, she even dropped his hand when they approached the door. She wants to be the big girl on campus. And, two days into Kindy, it certainly looks like she is to us.

So, now, I think back on those hours I held Maren and thought of the few "Special" things that I knew about, and realize that nothing is as a special as the normalcy of every day life with my Little Miss Magic. I really wish I would have known then what I know now, that life is life - with or without an extra chromosome. Certainly, there are some differences, but it is all in our focus. I will focus on the beauty and charm. And, here she is, with her handsome brother Jonah who began the third grade!

I haven't posted this semester because my heart has been torn. I adore living back in a city! Growing up in Miami, Salt Lake, Las Vegas, and Orlando, small towns have never sat well with me, so of course for college and grad school it was Chicago, Miami, and Boston -- then GASP -- Lafayette, IN. I kept telling myself it was only for 5 years and I could make it through that.

So, when we moved to Tuscaloosa for Maren to go to RISE, I kept telling myself, "It's only for 3 years." Then, I found out I really loved UA -- and the Tuscaloosa community is great (see ALL OTHER POSTS, LOL). But, it is still a small college town, and I'm a big city girl.

But, alas, I'm a mom first and foremost, and sometimes it means making choices that are best for my kids. So, back to our old house we go (luckily? it hasn't sold yet!). Jonah is devastated because he has learned more this year than ever, and he's had an amazing time. His teacher is involved, creative, passionate, and he comes home and actually has an answer to the tired question, "What did you do today?"

Archie has tons of friends and birthday parties, and a great trio of teachers, too. He's gotten addicted to Bakugan (UGH!), and is really developing a great little "cool kid" personality he certainly didn't get from HannahMOMtana, LOL.

And, Maren loves, loves, loves her teachers and friends --- has a cute crush on little boy Isaiah, and has picked up on the Littlest Pet Shop toys, and even got to go to the Nutcracker with her class this week. She has really adjusted well. But, after this year, we'd be forced to homeschool Maren -- and take her away from her friends and classmates. If any of you know Maren - that would be devastating! Here, an IQ test is required for services, and that is just one point this mom won't back down on. So, our options are homeschool -- or just move back to Alabama -- where I have a career I love and an already established community. And, Jon can commute -- and I'll just dig in and learn to embrace college town life.

Answer? ROLL TIDE ROLL.

Little Miss Magic by Jimmy Buffett lyrics

Constantly amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling
The clever little glances she gives me can't help but be appealing
She loves to ride into town with the top down
Feel that warm breeze on her gentle skin
She is my next of kin

Chorus:
I see a little more of me everyday
I catch a little more moustache turning gray
Your mother is the only other woman for me
Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?

Sometimes I catch her dreamin' and wonder where that little mind meanders
Is she strollin' along the shore or cruisin' o'er the broad Savannah
I know someday she'll learn to make up her own rhymes
Someday she's gonna learn how to fly
Oh that I won't deny

Chorus:
I catch a little more dialogue comin' my way
I see those big brown eyes just start to lookin' astray
Your mother's still the only other woman for me
Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?

Yes she loves to ride into town with the top down
Feel that warm breeze on her gentle skin
She is my next of kin

Constantly amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling
Those clever little looks she gives just can't help but be appealing
I know someday she'll learn to make up her own rhymes
One day she's gonna learn how to fly
That I won't deny

Chorus:
I see a little more of me everyday
I feel a little more moustache turning gray
Your mother's still the only other woman for me
Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?
Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?
Little Miss Magic, just can't wait to see

It's raining, It's pouring
Your old man is snoring

Little Miss Magic

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When Normal is Special 8/8/2007

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